| 20050616 |
| Life. |
Hello, everyone. Sorry that my last couple of posts have been so vague-heh I've had a weird last week. (To put it lightly.) It's been up and down...exceedingly so. Not my feelings about this person, but really just how the whole thing makes me feel. And I realized something tonight: that whenever we would be in a moment, everything would be wonderful and everything he would say would be perfect. He told me that the whole thing was "like a dream" to him-which is understandable, seeing as it is not reality. And then I saw it: maybe whenever you do feel special about someone, maybe all it is is an escape from reality and the only reason that it works is because real life doesn't need to come crashing down as quickly as it normally does in this situation. Maybe that's just what relationships are.
I just don't see how everything can be so picturesque ("Of course you know when I want to kiss you because I always want to kiss you") and all of a sudden it becomes "...I wouldn't really be focusing on you." Ah, reality. It's harsh, but I suppose it is life. But I dunno...sometimes when things go back and forth like that it makes me think that anything he says in the beautiful moments are really just words that don't mean anything and keep you there. (I'm wondering if that's how love really does just become an escape.) Maybe not, though, because I know that I still feel the same way out of those instances as when I'm in them...at least I know that I'm not hallucinating my emotions. So maybe they're just not true for him. Or aren't true for anybody. I'm not sure. But then again, if I had all the answers, what the hell would be the direction of this post? (Ah ha! Ponder that if you will.) I dunno...it all makes me very sad but the happy moments seem worth all of it. Go figure, right?
I know what I'm writing and I know how it's coming off and that's correct b/c that's how I feel right now-I'm just hoping that these won't be my views of strong emotions permanently. I hope that I won't be so jaded and objective the next time that I feel something for someone. I really hope that I can feel this way about someone for a longer period of time than a week without all of it crashing down so suddenly. |
posted by stephy_andthejets @ 1:10 AM   |
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| 7 Comments: |
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meh, if life was to be known to us completely, then there'd never be mysteries. where's the fun in that?
- Rob
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Hey, bitch, you need to update this motherfucker before I get some sick-ass ho all over your white ass.
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it is waaaay past time for an update
chop chop!
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UPDATE NOW OR FOREVER BE DEAD
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because she COULD be temporarily dead
good job, collin
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Name: The rocket girl. Stephashiznizzle, but to some, Stephanie 1
Home: Temporarilly Fredericksburg (or Fred Vegas, if you'd prefer), VA. Also, in the immortal words of my dear friend Joe, "Stephanie Breijo, you live on ebay."
About Me: What can I say that hasn't already been said...? I live and I love it along with friends, good conversations, family, and adventure. I am always waiting to see what happens next. If you've any idea, please for the love of God, let me know.
See my full profile, folks
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meh, if life was to be known to us completely, then there'd never be mysteries. where's the fun in that?
- Rob