the good that won't come out: "We walked the earth, We talked and never spoke a word..."

20050612

"We walked the earth, We talked and never spoke a word..."

I have no idea what to think. I'm not sure what to say-I can't speak sometimes-if I could, what would I say to you? Thinking of how good it is to be sitting so close to you-to be standing near you-to see you looking at me. Thinking of how much everything can change. How the hell did all of this happen? Hah-who the hell would have ever thought you had felt that way about me? And who the hell would ever think that I felt the same way about you? (Well, minus that one friend who asked about me & you 2 months ago...whom I lied to-I couldn't let anyone know about that.) Calling you today about Aly was just an excuse to talk-I wanted so badly to know if you had read my note. And you did and you didn't say anything about it. And I saw your note on aim. And what can I say now? There's nothing I can say-I can't think. Everything is going by me so quickly and there's nothing I can do to stop it to just breathe and figure things out-but I guess there really isn't anything to figure out. I guess that if I had known earlier this torture would have been going on for potentially 2 years or so. I don't know-I have these few words on my lips that I want to say to you-I can't bring myself to say them. I promised that I would never be like everyone else when it came to you and I know that if I say them, everything will be a thousand times harder. But next week you won't even think of this. You'll forget all of it, and that's underastandable. But what about when you come back? I hope that everything you've felt will have disappeared for your sake because I don't feel that you should have to think about it right before all of this goes blank. We could be so goddamned good together and I just know it-but I know that that could never happen. I also know you'll never read this. But I think you already know exactly what's on my mind.

Ben Folds
Sentimental Guy
There's a moment in my mind
I scribbled and erased a thousand times
Like a letter never written or sent
These conversations with the dead
I used to be a sentimental guy
Now I'm haunted by the left unsaid
I never thought so much could change
Little things you said or did
Are part of me
Come out from time to time
Though probably no one I know now
Would notice
But I never thought so much could change
You drifted far away
Far away it seems
Time has stopped
The clock keeps going
People talking
And I'm watching
As flashes of their faces go black and white
And fade to yellow In a box in an attic
And I never thought so much would change
What a shame

posted by stephy_andthejets @ 11:52 PM

3 Comments:

At 7:01 PM, Collin said…

Stephanie, I have got to tell you that, realizing all the seniors were gone this morning, I got really, really sad. I missed you guys :(

And with nobody to incessantly hit, I had to split up that duty among Nicole, Hilary and Sabrina.

We're gonna make this summer TOTALLY FREAKING AWESOME, OK? We definitely deserve it.
At 2:01 AM, Unknown said…

yes he was being pretty violent towards us and putting large amounts of chocolate on his banana.
At 1:10 PM, stephy_andthejets said…

HAHAHAHAHAHA Well, I'll be here for quite a while longer, so I think that this summer WILL BE totally freaking awesome-without a doubt, yo. Check one two.

;)