| 20051218 |
| love and memories. |
R.E.M. once wrote “It’s easier to leave than to be left behind”-although debatable, I’ve found that to be exceedingly untrue today. I’m writing this post from MS Word on my laptop en route, in air to California; by the time you’ll be reading this, I’ll have landed and found some internet connection to post this thing up. I could never understand why Joel hated CA so much-I never got it until now. I don’t necessarily hate it, but I can now and finally see where he’s coming from. I want change in my life. I want snow and I want that excitement that you feel knowing that seasons change and leaves fall and sunsets are hues of blue and green and not of pink and gold. I’m staring at the background on my laptop behind this program-I took it on the trip from the top of the Crim Del bridge at William & Mary-I’ll never forget that bridge and the view I saw there-the lake is a muted teal and the leaves are a bright red and orange. I boarded the plane and the officers announced that the current San Diego temperature is 60 degrees-I miss the cold air and seeing breath through your nose and the freezing rain and the warmth of sitting inside and watching falling water hit the leaves outside.
I’ve had too many amazing memories and impressions from the east coast now-coming back to California makes me so sad; it seems so constant and unchanging. I know it so well. For my entire life I’ve lived in southern California (“South Cali” for Chris)…I never thought that being away from the ocean would appeal to me, and suddenly it does. Good GOD I need change.
And it seems that every time I say goodbye to Jeremy it gets harder and harder (this counts time number three)-I suppose this traces back to the opening of this post, but it was so much more bearable to be the one left behind; you can easily cope with the fact that you yourself did not leave or abandon for any reason. When you leave-you can’t rationalize that feeling no matter how hard you try, and whatever you come up with is never sufficient. (You have to leave today-why? So you can see your own family for Christmas. Oh, really? -And why exactly can’t I just stay out here? …and you can come up with no further answers.) It kills and it stings-I’ve never been put in that position before. Hah-christ-my eyes are so puffy and dry right now and any amount of Louis XIV that I listen to will not cure it.
I’ve decided that I love D.C. I do-it’s a busy city without most of the traffic. And when there is, take the metro! The National Gallery of Art is beautiful and the streets and areas around there are actually clean and well kempt. It’s a great city. My word for northern Virginia that I decided upon was “quaint”; snow on fallen branches and rooftops, acres of land between brick houses, etc. I surprised myself by liking it so much. I think that was a big shock for me-I could never see myself living anywhere but California; all of a sudden, I wished I had grown up someplace like that.
Jer, I miss you like crazy already. This is just ridiculous. Taking off, I looked at the pictures that I took today of you and me and of Chris (especially with that scary elf…but seriously, wtf.) I cried when I saw the pictures of us outside of your grandparents’ house in front of the snow because our eyes look red and bleary from crying upstairs. I cried again as we took off knowing that for the first five minutes of flight or so, we were flying over where you were at that very moment; I hope that your family dinner and your movie pass your time as quickly as I hope my plane lands so that I can call you the second that I’m able to turn my phone on. As Iron & Wine is singing right now, “you’re like grace from the earth.” I miss you and I miss the way that at any angle, my head fits right into that crook between your neck and shoulder, and our arms fit around the other. Last night we suffered through the most uncomfortable sleeping conditions in the world but there was no way in hell that I would fall asleep without you scrunched up next to me somehow on my last night there. (We were crammed together in his grandparents’ living room on the narrowest couch you’ll ever see-by our own choice.)
That week was so much fun and I really loved meeting everyone that I’d talked to on the phone from W&M. My personal favorites happened to be Chris and John, the coolest goddamned roommates on the face of the planet. I ended up cheese sampling with them in colonial Williamsburg, shopping, stealing lots of samples of peanut brittle from The Peanut Shop, falling asleep w/ Jer in their room, eating, and hanging out. (Also add in those random elves AND spilling three different samples of Starbucks on me somehow three different freaking times-go figure, right?) Haha-it was wonderful and I’m so glad that I know them now. (Also, John, one more apology for calling you out on that desktop background of yourself.) ;) P.S. I also had dinner w/ Jer, John, and Andrew Hernandez, a CHS graduate from my freshman year (anyone in “Fiddler…” would remember him, but I think the only people who will read this and know him are Jer, now John, Collin, Steve, and possibly his little brother David.) The oriental buffet? WELL worth the walk in like, 25 degrees!
I think that that just about concludes this post-thank you to Charles & Collin, Aly (I think your message made Jeremy and myself laugh so hard we almost cried…Aly, we KNOW that your psychiatrist could not have said those things…namely because you haven’t got one.), Lauren, Tony, Cass, and Suca for all calling during the trip to just say hey. ☺
To fully see the pictures below, scroll your page to the right and go back to the top. When you come back to them, they should be loaded and not cut-off. :)
Here are some pictures from the trip that I love-I hope you love them as much as I do…it really is beautiful out there and I cannot wait to get back there myself; I also highly recommend it to anyone for a great vacation. ☺
Jer, Me & Chris being brave at one of the top 3 most haunted houses on the nation :)
haha me and my darlin' being wise-asses
"They say if you bring a girl to the top of this bridge and kiss her there you'll be in love forever."
An amazing sunset ^^^^^^^
The amazing John Quinn! (I felt the facial expression was cause for an exclamation point in the caption.) :)
Chris. He's amazing...and reading the ham catalogue we took from The Peanut Store.
I love this boy more than ANYTHING.
the view from our bridge (also my desktop background)
W&M!!!!
Haha this is pretty self-explanitory :)
Possibly the most random and fun day we had
Love of mine some day you will die
But I'll be close behind
I'll follow you into the dark
No blinding light or tunnels to gates of white
Just our hands clasped so tight
Waiting for the hint of a spark
If heaven and hell decide
That they both are satisfied
Illuminate the no's on their vacancy signs
If there's no one beside you
When your soul embarks
Then I'll follow you into the dark
If heaven and hell decide
That they both are satisfied
Illuminate the no's on their vacancy signs
If there's no one beside you
When your soul embarks
Then I'll follow you into the dark
You and me have seen everything to see
From Bangkok to Calgary
And the soles of your shoes are all worn down
The time for sleep is now
It's nothing to cry about
Cause we'll hold each other soon
In the blackest of rooms
If heaven and hell decide
That they both are satisfied
Illuminate the no's on their vacancy signs
If there's no one beside you
When your soul embarks
Then I'll follow you into the dark
Then I'll follow you into the dark |
posted by stephy_andthejets @ 11:42 AM   |
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| 10 Comments: |
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I was going to write about the merits of California and how everywhere has its own special qualities, but then I saw your pictures and I kinda want to take a trip back home too. I'm so glad you guys got to see each other and you got to experience something new--while I love California, Virginia is a really beautiful place, too, and Washington DC is still my favorite city ever.
I hope your plane ride back was good--and it won't be too much longer before you get to see him again, really :)
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you guys are just amazing!
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reading that made me want to go to college even sooner than i already wanted to go.
It's just too far away.
I'm glad you had a good time.
<3
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Well, what can I say? I love you sweetheart... and yeah, I really do love it out here (now "there" since I'm in TN), but only if you're around. So get out here baby - that's an order! I can't have you not by my side for any amount of time; keeping you away so we can both go to our respective schools is like squeezing all of the breath out of my lungs with my own two hands, and I can't take it any more. I need to be with you sweetheart. I need to. Come back to me, and I'll make you the happiest girl in the world - I promise you that. I love you... I miss you... I need you babe. I need you every time I fall asleep and every time I wake up and every time in between, and not having you here is killing me. I love you.
Sorry others about this post - kinda melodramatic from someone else's POV, I suppose. All true, though, I swear. All 100% of it.
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yay for double negatives!
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it's weird but everytime i travel anywhere, i find i love california even more. i guess because it's a constant in my life. anyways, it sounds, and looks, like you had a great time! it looks soo beautiful and i'm glad you and jeremy got to see each other again.
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WTF! Steph! Do you even use your RvB account!!!!
You have 2 awards WTF! I have one...I actually use mine...
anyway...
I'm actually envy all you guys for living in Nado for like...since many of you where born...Nados my favorite place only due to the fact that...I've been here the longest in my lifetime so far...and I have all you guys to share it with...not to sound all sappy and such but you guys are...really the only friends ive had.
MERRY CHRISTMAS YOU (insert word here)
happy holidays ya'll!
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PS to Jer
HOLY FUCK 4 MONTHS!!!!!!!!!!! Til' TP!!!!!
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Dear favoritest bestest friend ever,
MERRY CHRISTMAS
Love, Me
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Home: Temporarilly Fredericksburg (or Fred Vegas, if you'd prefer), VA. Also, in the immortal words of my dear friend Joe, "Stephanie Breijo, you live on ebay."
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I was going to write about the merits of California and how everywhere has its own special qualities, but then I saw your pictures and I kinda want to take a trip back home too. I'm so glad you guys got to see each other and you got to experience something new--while I love California, Virginia is a really beautiful place, too, and Washington DC is still my favorite city ever.
I hope your plane ride back was good--and it won't be too much longer before you get to see him again, really :)