the good that won't come out

regression(?)

2007-06-25T22:32:00.000-04:00

Wellp, there you have it...I never actually thought I'd write in this thing again. I thought it was a goner...and then I realized some interesting things recently that I want to get off my chest...I think all friends have stopped reading this by now...it was a sad remnant of high school and days gone by, in retrospect, but if it's a place to put my thoughts down, it's easier than a physical diary.
Things have been strange lately. Something happened last weekend that made me feel empowered but also a little worried-a friend from a few years ago that I used to be very close with came over, along with another friend, whom I'm still very close with. The first one was always a social butterfly...so much so, that they often discarded emotion from numerous people, including close friends, in order to continue on their merry way in the egocentric field of opaque social servitude. Gag me. When she began talking only about petty things in her life I didn't mind-they usually do that, and I, along with my other friend who was there, listened...but after about twenty minutes I just realized how badly I wanted them out of my house and honestly couldn't stand them for too much longer. It was sort of freeing in a way. No longer did I actually realize how often this person talks on and on about themself; I realized that I didn't need to listen to it anymore. And, in fact, that felt good. This also makes me think that friendships don't last forever, despite the "no matter how hard you both try to remain friends" thing. I honestly think it all just comes down to compatability in the end...but maybe this is a veil for giving up on friendship...doubtful, though-I'm sure we'll talk again soon...and I'll be bored out of my mind, unsure why I'm sitting there at all. Maybe this is human nature or maybe it's just me...not sure, but it feels odd to move on in your own mind, I'll tell you that much. Let's see if I can stick to my guns on this one.

Another thing I realized today is how ridiculous it is when people fall directly into an age-old sterotype. Not that I mind people who do-I'm friends with a few of them-the activist, the new-age hippy, the theatre kid...but today in buffalo exchange there were these two girls talking-both dressed sort of like punks...not so much scenesters...and this one girl with loose black clothing and unbrushed crazy blonde hair asks the tattooed, emo-banged/weird-dye-job-haired girl where she works. The latter responds with some little sandwich place, and the first girl goes, "Hey-at least you haven't gone corporate." The other one agrees....
Maybe it's just because I just came from working at nbc for the day, but honestly-HONESTLY. It grated on my skin one thousand and two times more than I would have ever expected it would have. You want to talk about fitting into a corporate mold? Well, maybe we should talk about you fitting into your anti-establishment molds which you ALL SEEM TO FIT INTO EXACTLY THE SAME WAY. Doesn't that defeat your purpose? Also-selling out vs. going corporate? The difference is...? In terms of music, we can discuss...in terms of a job? Hello, you live in america, not in the jungle where you survive off of bugs and primitive hunting skill. Welcome to capitalism, trademarked by corporation. Corporation, in some ways, is the backbone of this country. That doesn't mean it's a horrible thing necessarilly. It isn't the end of the world if you work for The Coffee Bean & Tea Leaf or something for however long. It doesn't mean you've sold out in life. People have some really weird stigmas. Welcome to the real world, everyone...going corporate won't kill you, provided you find something you're happy doing; that's my theory and I'm sticking to it...we'll see if it works for me.
I guess, though, on the flip side, that everyone has to fill their molds to fit into in some ways...even if they perpetuate them by believing they're breaking them. It's ridiculously ironic.

In happier news, I'm reading a lot of hunter s. thompson and today at nbc I was told that I can cover some of comic-con...also, a musician I really admire and love keeps writing back to me!

life is beautiful.

happy monday, almost home.

2007-02-26T21:21:00.000-05:00

I can't even begin to express how excited I am to be going home.
This time next week, I'll be at home (probably writing like mad for my newsgathering class, but home nonetheless)

Things I'm looking forward to:
seeing a cosa production and everyone there
cast party!!
el indio, sushi at bistro, world curry, etc
sleepovers w/ aly
sleepovers w/ lauren
cookies and movies with james
anything and everything with nicole
sleeping in my own house
my livingroom
my mom's cooking
hanging out with my brother
walking around the island
warmer climate
the beach
orange ave
walking down the street and seeing people I've known for years and years
stopping in on cam at work in video land
palm trees
cheap, good mexican food
a breeze that feels nice, not death-inviting
the view of downtown at night
the del
yes, even the tourists
my friend kate who will be visiting from malibu on sundaaaay!!!
I just really miss coronado-being back home for the first time since august will be incredible
it would be incredible even if I did nothing but lounge around on my giant couch (which I also miss)

there are a few people I'll miss who won't be on break at the same time as I will (like Laura, prob. nick unless I see him the same night as lauren, suca, etc) but laura might be visiting me in va in april and before I know it I'll be back for summer on May 4th!

:)

On another note, this episode of Heroes is way enlightening.
it's intense.
lots of background information.
lots of suspense.
OH.MY.GOD
there is something insane going on right now.
oh nooooooooooo
DON'T DIIIIIEEEEEEE

oh my god.
claire bennett kicks fucking ass.

holy shit. this show is so good.
sorry, okay, commercial break.
This show is honestly so much better written than lost at this point (alarming, I know).
lost is slacking.
c'mooonnnn, jj abrahms.

(speaking of which, I'm really excited for comic-con this year...I hope there's another heroes panel!!!)

As soon as I get through this week, my life will be amazing.
jer is picking me up on friday after work, then I'm going to w&m and then on saturday morning we're getting lunch and then I'm off to the airport!!! :)

In other other news, I just bought the prestige on dvd the other day.
major fan.
ps, it was about fucking time for scorsese to win. how many times has he previously been nominated? six times? seven times?
whatever the case, he's been cheated until this year.
also, the grandpa from little miss sunshine winning best supporting was the highlight of my night
:)

(pps, I'm almost tempted to stay up and watch the black donnellys...not sure, though)

In any case, I've been listening to the same few songs over and over again and they're ridiculously good...in case anyone's interested, here they are:

1. chicago-sufjan stevens
2. on the bus mall-the decemberists
3. (hold on)

I just sobbed at the end of that episode. he always reminded me of my dad...if he's really dead I'm writing jeph loeb a letter.
fuck that.
he can't be.
I refuse to believe it for my own sake.

okay.
(deep breath)

3. disarm-smashing pumpkins
4. all good naysayers speak up! or forever hold your peace!-sufjan stevens
5. dashboard-modest mouse
6. how to grow a woman from the ground-chris thile
7. engine driver-the decemberists

okay, this new show the black donnellys is actually very good.

HAHAHA YESSSSS THEY'RE PLAYING 'HOW COULD I FORGET' BY THE FAINT RIGHT NOW IN THE SHOW...they're only using the instrumental bits, though...listen for it if you decide to see it.

it's like boondock saints but not overrated yet (HAH! take that overly-dramatic, over-hyped cult film that isn't that good!)...man...I shouldn't say that, though...boondock saints fans are fucking crazy about that movie....meh.

this post is such a weird cacauphony of cultural media review...but honestly-mob show about the black irish (mmmmm black irish boys), written well, good cinematography, lots of characters, all given equal time=caught my interest.

now I have a play to read...see most of you this week
:)

<3<3<3<3

EDIT

this video is amazing and wonderful-first of all, the decemberists (one of my faves) are playing in july at the hollywood bowl with the LA SYMPHONY ORCHESTRA...yeah, um, that's gonna be amazing. tickets go on sale on the 3rd (this sunday)...I have no idea how much they'll be...probably considerably more than the $20 they're charging for a norfolk, va show...if you like them, though, I'd love to get a group to road trip up to la and see it!

ok-this video (sixteen military wives) is like a wes anderson film (reminds me of rushmore-takes place at a school- and the royal tenenbaums b/c of the text narration) and then throw in some political commentary and set it to a fun song and there you have it.

hope you like it

:)

I'm with you in Rockland

2007-02-12T22:38:00.000-05:00

ok, so, let me say that...
well
I have no idea what I'm really trying to say
except that I just need to write.

Today for my Beat Generation class I read 'Howl' by Ginsberg.
I fucking wish I knew him
or had some way to say hello or ask questions-through 'Go' his personality, actions, epiphanies...you name it, have all been captured in time...not frozen, but it almost feels like they could still be existing somehow...that he could still be frantically wandering san francisco or ny running from apartment to apartment, looking for new gossip about friends and happenings, seeing Blake in visions. I wish I had known him.
Out of anyone else in history I wish I had known him.
But back to 'Howl'.
It honestly affected me...not even 'Howl' so much, but well, part Part III, but mainly his 'Footnote to Howl'.
How beautiful it is! How beautiful it all must be to see a holy light in all
and to actually believe it.

I feel like (well, first off that Neil Cassady was a dick...no pun intended) but that Kerouac, despite his stories I'm not a huge fan of, could have been a good friend. I feel like John Clellon Holmes felt a lot like I do sometimes, amongst friends and a background more creative, more driven and fanatical than I could ever be...but that's okay.

These people are all dead but it still feels like they can be alive...this post probably doesn't make much sense...I feel like I'm ranting but I just need to get it out

every! single! word! is poetry to them...I wish I could wind words, twist them into being
maybe someday

recently I've been feeling torn...what do I do with my life?
I talked to byron the other night about journalism
a tough job to get into, he said
yes, I said. I agreed.

I can't tell how I'm supposed to write. news? just report the facts.
poetry-be fluid, express creatively.
I love dickens. I love novels with piles of superfluous semicolons and submersive stories and dependent clauses.
fuck that hemingway shit.
give me detail and emotion.

I feel like my brain is sort of melting in confusion
I don't know if I have enough time to decide, but I sometimes feel that I'll be in college or some net forever.

'I'm living in eternity, Stofsky,' wrote Holmes.
I like that quote. I love all of Ginsberg's antics and his feelings on time.

my favorite part of any of his poetry reads exactly:

Holy time in eternity holy eternity in time

think about it, people. just THINK. I want to be great.
I want to be greater than great.
I want to make a name for myself and I want to make it now. I want to be successful...I think that's my greatest fear...failure.
even the word is harsh. not just the implications.
say it out loud.
go on.
failure.
fffaaaaiiiiilure.

it's horrible.
just the sound of it.

there's too much in my brain and too much energy
I need to put this to creative use, not just writing in my blog right now but see THAT'S the entire question of it!
HOW?
HOW???

What do I write?
poetry?
do my newgathering hw? should I write an article about something completely fictional?
I need to be languid.
what the fuck is the form of this post?
there is no form
it's incredible.

I need to walk up and down the streets of san francisco.
I think I'm losing my mind...this should pass within the hour but I don't know how to cope...oh man...what's going on with me..I need to get out of here and run around...maybe I should go outside.

maybe I should go outside and write.
where is all of this going?
where am I going?

I'm typing so frantically..................dear god.
stofsky.
ginsberg.
marx.

they are all the same.
can't you just imagine?
just ponder it all.

think about it.

new blog for the semester

2007-01-16T10:06:00.000-05:00

so how cool is this?

my film, text and culture class this semester is (of course) a regular class taught in a room, but in addition to it the students are required to keep a blog to be graded, by thoughts on the courseload but also by interraction between students in the class; I'll be linking and alluding to other blogs in the class (which should be fun, b/c there are some very entertaining people in there, ie. megs-giggly and girly, ben-head of the improv team...enough said, and joey-funny and cool to talk to...and there are many more, folks). I'm actually really looking forward to it.

As of now, my page looks like crap, but I found a theme that I hope will work (fingers crossed).
In case you're interested, (I only believe a couple of people actually will be interested COUGH*james*COUGH, but it should be cool-also, for all you high schoolers out there about to head into college, this might be cool to see a college course discussed by some fun people.) Anywho:

http://blogs.elsweb.org/mordecai/

I'm listening to Rilo Kiley's album "The Destruction of All Things"...classic, and for those of you who haven't heard it, give it a try. Also, I've been listening to a lot of Matt Pond PA (and Sufjan...of course). But "New Hampshire" by Matt Pond PA is friggin' great. Also along the lines of entertainment, The Departed is awesome and, in my opinion, deserving of every nomination it got (yes, even Leo DiCaprio's best actor nod; I was shocked by how good he was in this)...ALSO amazing: Little Miss Sunshine, Somewhat like The Royal Tennenbaums meets The Squid and the Whale meets National Lampoon...go figure. In any case, Steve Carell is great in a drier role...but enough on that.

My trip was absolutely amazing...absolutely incredible. I've got hundreds of pictures so I'm obviously not going to put them all on here, but I'll put up some selections from each city and some of my favorites...also, I'll be back home for spring break in a month and a half, so all pictures can be seen then, I guess.

Without further ado,

Wales

my beautiful cousin (lookin' kinda shady...)

London

Paris

this is too good...

2006-12-08T18:47:00.000-05:00

SO...this email is in response to my visit this afternoon to my history professor's office to see an estimation of my grade (as I feel I've completely desecrated the shot for a full 'A' due to my horrible quiz score today). She assured me that I shouldn't be getting anything lower than an A-, which is fine, but she also sent me this email...which is true, but the last line just cracked me up. Explanation to follow.

Stephanie,

I sent you the topics after you left but I had not chance to say
anything else. It has been a rather bad day (for the last day) but let
me re-assure you: your work is both marvelous and idiosyncratic which is
to say, it's original, makes an impression yet tends to fall short of a
task set for you. It may work differently in other classes, but for
mine--had you done excellently on quizzes too and if you could bring
yourself to participate once in a while, that would ensure you a full A.
With those being just basic, let's say, you're dependent on your
written work. Still it's my primary source of evaluation.

In general, everyone has their strengths; very few can do it all that's
required nowadays. When someone can excel in a particular area they can
learn to be adequate in related ones. My advice to you--try and bring
yourself to say something once in a while. Verbal skills, right? OK.
You're an excellent and original-thinking student as far as I know; I
ever enjoyed your essays above any proper responses.

KTokareva

So...the last line made me literally laugh out loud (with good reason, I believe). Oh dear. Related story which is possibly why it makes me happy:
Jer's older brother, Andrew, just graduated. Apparently, when he turned in his thesis paper his professor insighted him into the fact that he had not, in fact, answered the promt, but it was so well written that he still received a B.

I suppose it just goes to show you that if you can write well you can get away with any liberal arts class...haha...probably not a good incentive to actually do more work and studying, but it is rather entertaining.

"I ever enjoyed your essays above any proper responses."

Love it.

P.S. I see nicole in roughly 2.5 hours.
Jer's visit last weekend was amazing.
Europe in one week, here I come...

ugh.

2006-11-28T21:53:00.000-05:00

Let me just say it's way hard to try and get all of your shit together so that you don't land on your ass after college...especially when you're coming down to the end of a semester and classes pile all the crap on you that you hadn't gotten to yet so you've got like, double the stuff to do than your syllabi say you do.

oye.

I've got nothing to really show for any internship apps and they're all due at the beginning of december...for the summer internships. yeah. shit. oh well...the internships I really want only accept juniors at earliest but in order to get those, you've got to have previous internship experience. so...I guess I'm sort of screwed?

enough whining.

I just went out and got Paste's latest mag (the only magazine I'd pay eight dollars for per edition) and I'm lovin' it. The big kicker? It always comes w/ a sampler cd of really awesome good music. so you can probably guess what I'm listening to. Ihighlyrecommendit. If you're into getting into new bands along with sweet reviews, it's the mag for you...not only that, it's bi-monthly so you get around 40 new songs a month. pretty fucking sweet if you ask me, and if you don't then tough, you're the one reading my blog.

Long story short I've got things pretty great right now (just noticed how thrillingly irratic I am with my capitalization...meh.) I'm listening to new music (might I recommend "Again and Again" by Bird & Bee), Jer is here on friday, nicole's here next friday, then the friday after that arrives my darlin' mom and then we're off to london.

...so I've just got a massiveheapload of tests and quizes and other misc. junk to sift through until then...speaking of which...I've got an essay due on Beowulf (that's my fourth essay now due on beowulf in 1.5 years of college. yeah, count fourth)...I suppose I'd better get a jump on that...that's the theory, anywho.

the reality being I'll get to it about 2 hrs before class at noon.

if you're fun, post what you're listening to right now

;)

AHHHprocrastinateprocrastinate

2006-11-22T09:14:00.000-05:00

here's the deal, folks-

I'm off to this holiday for the giving of thanks with my aunt within the next 45 minutes...

I'm still sitting in my bath towel, SO not packed for the next 4 days.

I might be out of touch from our god-given internet so if I'm not updating facebook and haunting AIM as I frequently do,

you know why.

Happy Turkey(Tofurkey) Day.

To Collin and Lily, I hope the auditions went AMAZINGLY.
To Nicole, I'm proud of you-continue through that first quarter kicking ass.
To Kat, baby, I know it'll work out. If it doesn't, call me. We'll brainstorm.
To Jon, have fun in SF w/ steve...I'm so jealous you don't even knowwwwww.
To James, I've been missing you lately. Tell your amazing parents that I say hi, ok?
To Bina...I'm so, so sorry. I love you, girly. If there's anything I can do, please let me know.
...I don't know who else reads this...so happy thanksgiving to all of you!

<3

2006-10-22T21:17:00.001-04:00

GO AND SEE THE PRESTIGE IF YOU KNOW WHAT'S GOOD FOR YOU

...please.

ALSO: Once you've seen it, random poll: better=

Hugh Jackman
or
Christian Bale

in whatever category you choose.

a note from the trapeze swinger...

2006-10-10T00:38:00.000-04:00

When did I become this sometimes Indie/sometimes-consideres-being-fashionable but-is-usually-in-jeans-or-sweats/often lazy/english-loving/music/movie authority
with a penchance for testing my independence and trying my limits even when I know it's not best?

It's moments like these when I take a step back and just look at who I am and have become that make me
very, very hapy-it isn't often that we can always appreciate what we are-but now's the time.

:)

I found these lyrics in a song that I've had forever but never really listened to as I did last night-
they make me happy and remind me of my close friends:

The water's there to warm you
And the earth is warmer when you laugh

G'night, everyone

fucking. brilliant.

2006-09-11T16:32:00.000-04:00

I can understand those of you who oppose gay marriage, be it under tradition, religion, or the belief that civil unions do the trick...however, I found this today and find it so incredibly wonderful-everyone's views are acceptable and valid, of course-I just don't back the people who judge marriage based upon the word of God from so long ago...argue as you can (and probably will), this puts the argument in a fairly...definitive (haha) light. I'm not a raging liberal save one or two instances, this being one of them.

Enjoy as I did

:)

Oh, and in addition, I am not a "Bush Basher" and when it comes to politics tend to view each choice administration as a "lesser of two evils". This is not to hate on the republican party; it's this issue, and that's it. But Bush, for this? You're kind of an idiot sometimes. Maybe you should take your head out of your ass and recognize love and equality despite gender. (Sorry, Collin & Steve-O.)

Dear President Bush:

Congratulations on doing so much to educate people regarding God's Law! I have learned a great deal from you and understand why you would propose and support a constitutional amendment banning same-sex marriage. As you said, "in the eyes of God marriage is based between a man a woman." I try to share that knowledge with as many people as I can. When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind them that Leviticus 18.22 clearly states it to be an abomination. End of debate.

However, I do need some advice from you regarding some other elements of God's Laws and how best to follow them.

1. Leviticus 25.44 states that I may possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans but not to Canadians. Can you clarify? Why can't I own Canadians?

2. I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21.7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?

3. I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of menstrual uncleanness (Leviticus 15.19-24). The problem is how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offense.

4. When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odor for the Lord. (Leviticus 1.9) The problem is my neighbors. They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?

5. I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35.2 clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself, or should I ask the police to do it?

6. A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an abomination (Leviticus 11.10), it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don't agree. Can you settle this? Are there degrees of abomination?

7. Leviticus 21.20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle-room here?

8. Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Leviticus 19.27. How should they die?

9. I know from Leviticus 11.6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean. May I still play football if I wear gloves?

10. My uncle has a farm. He violates Leviticus 19.19 by planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them? (Leviticus 24.10-16) Couldn't we just burn them to death at a private family affair, as we do with people who sleep with their in-laws? (Leviticus 20.14)

Mr. President, I know you have studied these things extensively and thus enjoy considerable expertise in such matters, so I am confident you can help. Thank you again for reminding us that God's word is eternal and unchanging.

Yours truly,
An Inquiring Supporter

P.S. I look forward to your answers because there are a number of other issues that I'd like to get settled as soon as you've enlightened me on these ... Thanks again!!

drawls, accents, and confederate monuments

2006-08-24T22:35:00.000-04:00

Hey everyone! Well, this should be a relatively short post in terms of writing...they SWAMP you with orientation meetings, collaborations, educational movies, etc. Yikes. In any case, I'm here and it's beautiful-haha and so is that ac system! Yes, Imp, I have seen the gnats. They are everywhere. BUT it's well worth the annoyance. :)

I don't really know where to start; the last week or so has been jam-packed. (Whoa, that is odd-I haven't even been gone one full week-it certainly feels as though I had, though) In any case, I arrived to an incredibly welcoming and fun family, compliments of the best uncle in the ENTIRE world (dispute fruitlessly if you must), my Uncle Barrett. His sister Penny is the sweetest person and her husband Vince is wonderful. With them I saw Richmond, giant memorials of Jackson & Lee (although I have not yet been out to the Jackson shrine where his arm is buried in Spottsylvania County), visited my amazing friend-since-pre-school Cass who just transfered to Virginia State, drank lots of sweet tea, had some southern speaking lessons, and had a wonderful tour of le south! So now I am moved in and undergoing my second orientation for my second college. Haha up to about an hour ago I hadn't met anyone from CA specifically, but all of a sudden my transfer orientation group links up w/ another one and there's this super funny guy and after a few moments I spurratically blurted out, "Where are you from??!!" and he was like, "San Diego" and my jaw dropped and all I could say was, "No. Shit." So basically, the first and only person I've met at this school from CA is from La Mesa...a little odd, right? Haha but in any case, people are nice here and I'm really excited for saturday b/c my friend Amy moves in then. (Returning students don't move in until then.)

SO! That's about it here, but I have LOTS and lots of pictures! Heeeeeere we go!

so I thought this was hilariously Texas; this was from my stopover flight in Houston. It might be kinda hard to see, but note the cowboy hats, boots, and rhinestone-studded boots. Yeeeeee-haw!

Ohhhhhhh, Confederate Whitehouse in Richmond. How we do love thee. (This is my 1st day in VA!)

Me and Cass at her new school, VSU. It's almost, quite literally, ghetto. Cass, please don't get shot.

The South: The only place where you can get good sweet tea from a fast food chain for a dollar. Yeeeesssss <3 America

Me at move-in! This is my hall. Virginia Hall. All girls, with the RA, mostly freshmen. No, I didn't sign up for this, but it's really pretty cool.

A random pathway

Seaco, the cafeteria

Some administration building

Class building w/ many trees

The outer rim of the campus. As you can see, it's all residential directly surrounding the campus...as borat would say, "It's nice!"

Trees on a campus!

Vines on a sign!

Snakes on a Plane! I kid, I kid. ;)

Another entrance (there are about 4 entrances to the campus, though this is the prettiest)

A random pretty dorm

And lastly, another welcome sign from back in the Mary Washington College day. (The college was changed to a university because it separated its self into numerous colleges, such as a college of letters and science, etc.)

And theeeeerrrreee you have it!! Life here is good and now that I've emptied my camera I'll be able to take some more...it'll also be really interesting to put up the pictures through the seasons so that I can look back and view all of the changes. (I've heard that fall in VA is incredible). Love to everyone reading this and love to Jer-I can't even believe I'll see him in a couple of weeks. Haha-that's weird to me. It'll be nice, though. Then we can explore Fredericksburg like we did last time! (It's such a fun place to walk around-I literally, today, walked through the battlefield from the Battle of Fredericksburg and saw where General Cobb fell after fatally receiving huge shards of wood in his leg from an explosion that tore apart a house.) There's SO much history to learn in this town, sometimes it feels slightly overwhelming. And then I'm like, suck it up and keep learning.
On Saturday, Amy and I are ordering bbq to have delivered to one of our rooms and break it in after a day of exploration through the old cemetaries and historical disctirct!

It really is incredible-haha-who would have ever thought I'd end up here?

:)

every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end...

2006-08-19T03:52:00.000-04:00

Here I am-I sleep for 3.5 hours and it's up and getting showered for my day of travel for me.
I can't really type too much b/c I still have to find a way to fit in my socks and my pair of sneakers and every minute of sleep is now precious, seeing as I didn't really sleep last night to the mothahfuckin' snakes on the mothahfuckin' plane. Oh, Brent and Imp, how much fun we had. (Naps on a seat, snakes on a vein, pizza in my pants...oh merciful, sweet lord, the send-offs were endless.)
So this is a post to say...a few things: I don't believe I'll have the internet unless my Aunt Penny has a router, in which case I'll be updating on wednesday when I move into my dorm...I hope this is ok for everyone; I'm going to take as many pictures as possible throughout my trip to chronic(WHAT!-cles) everything that went on/the people/the places that I encountered! (I am charging the camera batteries as I type.)
I would also like to say before the biggest aspect of the post, that I love Sacha Baron Cohen. Yes, the Borat movie trailer links are on my toolbar on my laptop as some of you saw tonight, and no, I am not ashamed. November third is much too far away. (This suit is NOT BLACK.)

;)

The biggest thing that I want to talk about is the fact that so many friends and family members are so incredibly supportive. Even, recently, my own father. (I know you don't read this, but thanks, Dad. I love you.) Dinner tonight with my mom, brother, and his girlfriend made me so sad that I'll be leaving. A great call from my Aunt Angie and my Uncle Barrett just saying they love me and they wish me a safe flight tomorrow made me so happy that I" wanted to cry. Last-minute visits from Lily, Collin, Lauren, Nicole, Brent, Bren, Imp, Sabrina, Scuffy, Alex, Laura, Steve, and Andrew reminded me (like I could ever forget) just how incredible all of my friends are and how much they mean to me. Cheesy? It sounds like it, but it really is the truth. Thanks to all of you (including Tony for the talk tonight) and I'm so incredibly glad to call you my friends. My return ticket is for December 15, but, as I've discussed w/ some of you (and this is open to any of you), you are free to come and visit-it's beautiful and I already have one sure-fire visitor for the snow in early December. Ms. Keepers, I await your arrival.

;)

My best of luck to anyone else leaving for school-Lily, Lauren, Nicole, even my darling Cass who's already at VSU-you'll all do amazingly.

Much love and I'll be in touch,

Me

She would never say where she came from
Yesterday don't matter if it's gone
While the sun is bright
Or in the darkest night
No one knows
She comes and goes

Goodbye, Ruby Tuesday
Who could hang a name on you?
When you change with every new day
Still I'm gonna miss you...

Don't question why she needs to be so free
She'll tell you it's the only way to be
She just can't be chained
To a life where nothing's gained
And nothing's lost
At such a cost

Goodbye, Ruby Tuesday
Who could hang a name on you?
When you change with every new day
Still I'm gonna miss you...

There's no time to lose, I heard her say
Catch your dreams before they slip away
Dying all the time
Lose your dreams
And you will lose your mind
In life unkind

Goodbye, Ruby Tuesday
Who could hang a name on you?
When you change with every new day
Still I'm gonna miss you...

this makes sense...

2006-08-05T13:27:00.000-04:00

the Wit
(57% dark, 23% spontaneous, 10% vulgar)

your humor style:
CLEAN | COMPLEX | DARK

You like things edgy, subtle, and smart. I guess that means you're probably an intellectual, but don't take that to mean pretentious. You realize 'dumb' can be witty--after all isn't that the Simpsons' philosophy?--but rudeness for its own sake, 'gross-out' humor and most other things found in a fraternity leave you totally flat.

I guess you just have a more cerebral approach than most. You have the perfect mindset for a joke writer or staff writer.

Your sense of humor takes the most thought to appreciate, but it's also the best, in my opinion.

You probably loved the Office. If you don't know what I'm
talking about, check it out here: http://www.bbc.co.uk/comedy/theoffice/.

PEOPLE LIKE YOU: Jon Stewart - Woody Allen - Ricky Gervais

The 3-Variable Funny Test!

- it rules -

If you're interested, try my best friend's best test:
The Genghis Khan Genetic Fitness Masterpiece

My test tracked 3 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender:

You scored higher than 99% on darkness
You scored higher than 99% on spontaneity
You scored higher than 99% on vulgarity

Link: The 3 Variable Funny Test written by jason_bateman on OkCupid, home of the 32-Type Dating Test

Haha oh, thank god. (A quick P.S. to Lauren: I'm sorry I laughed at your reaction when the cat died in Boondock Saints the other night...I suppose this enlightens you to my thought process...haha, like there was any doubt)

;)

P.P.S. MY FAVORITE RELATIVES ARE COMING TO VISIT TODAY!!!!! I'm still in pj's, nicole is coming over for breakfast (I have NO idea what we're having) aaaaaaand I haven't even bought my luggage yet...ready? GO!

Hey emo spell, get the hell out of here. Thx.

2006-07-06T01:20:00.000-04:00

Life gets more confusing by the day, but as one wise person told me, don't let it bother you.

There are a few regrets in my life that bother me already...the biggest is what I did about college and the largest worry in my mind is that by leaving and going so far away I'll only be making another decision I'll regret. Or making the same one even bigger. I look at one of my friends and see how happy she is with where she went and think about how amazing it would have been to have accepted the school and gone there and had an apartment with her in some new city far from San Diego. ...I suppose it's too late to think about that now, but it still bothers me. If by leaving now am I messing up happiness that I could experience later? UGH. Regrets...as sung by Ben Folds Five. Oh man. I guess the more you think about it the more down you get on yourself.

So I've been thinking that it's time for me to travel somewhere because it's been a few months since I last did and things here are sometimes far too mundane. I am incredibly excited, however, because I just found out that my friend Erick (from middle school) is coming down a week from this friday to stay the weekend with me and hang out (some of you might recall him as the one who called from 20 minutes away saying he was in SD and wanted to crash at my house at about midnight at the last minute a few months ago). ALSO, Robin (also from middle school) will be coming down and staying with me the NEXT weekend for Comic-Con (and yes, I have my pass already) :) I just want to go someplace new so badly-I've been thinking about SF so much lately and I don't know why...Sloane and I have been talking about it for a while, Laureen and I talked about it the other day, even my mom and I were discussing the city. *Sigh* but I suppose that it all just comes down to money and time. After just watching Fight Club for the first time in a very long time, I'm starting to see their point of living with no regrets and becoming a slave to no system...it's a shame that that's just sort of the way that life is now (and probably always has been...I just wish it were different.) I need adventure that I feel I only recently had when a good friend visited and we narrowly escaped a national border...haha I make it sound so harrowing. But really, it was a fun adventure. Even if only a sketchy one. I want to road trip and rent really cheap hotel rooms with my friends and see random things and go to new places and eat at greasey diners and not even know exactly what route we're taking. Sometimes I find I get depressed...not extremely so, but I see it every now and then. The thing is, I know exactly when and why it happens...I suppose I just get bored with routine and need to throw a wrench in the system or my life or what not, even if only temporarily. I just need excitement and spontaneity and I suppose my life has been lacking just those things for a little while. I feel I'm at the epitome of mondanity and someone that gives me so much life is gone for who knows how long.

Let me out of here, give me back to the wind...

Maybe hiking. Maybe a city. Maybe whitewater rafting.

I want to fly and never come down
I want to live life and have friends around

Oh god...I don't even know what I want anymore personally. I just need to get out and explore.

...seemed like forever
what would you give to get away?

Sorry about the quotes....they just settle in my mind sometimes after I write...if you can automatically name those songs, well, no, it doesn't make you cooler than anybody else, but it does mean that we listen to some of the same music. In the words of Dane Cook, "Well, that's, that's nice." Hmmmm...And what about secrets? How many skeletons does everyone have in their closet and how do they get rid of them if it's even possible to do so? Who can you really trust with those secrets except maybe the people who were there, and even then...? It just seems like once they're there, you live with them. Which is a shame. I'm not too used to that feeling. Hmmmm...a conscience is a funny thing and so is life...I suppose it all balances in the end, though.

I realize how incredibly contradictory this post is to the title and the first line, but this isn't emo; it's more introspective and really, honestly, my current feelings. I also appologize for the last post...I guess that's all I can really say about that. And yes, life does get confusing and some of the best advice in the world is not to let it bother you too much. Unfortunately, that's incredibly difficult for me. Maybe I'll master it someday.

Hmmmm...well, more of The Iliad to read and more time to think, I suppose.

G'night, everyone-peace out, yo.

then out of nowhere, you put me right back there...

2006-07-04T17:31:00.001-04:00

Staring at the dark again, you left your silhouette upon my pillow
Right inside the night, I'm waiting for the light
Seems like I'm in the middle
Workin' for something that I can't touch
And sometimes can't even believe in
Cradled by the hands of fate the faith that
Sometimes wraps around too tight - so tight
They call me free but I call me a fool
They call me free but I call me a fool
Well I look back at April, but she won't look back at me
So I pray in May for June to stay, but she just came
To wash into the sea - away
They call me free but I call me a fool

Slipped down to Mexico, started messin' with her yellow afro
Slipped down behind the sheets, started talkin bout Pistol Pete
Slipped down to the Africa, started talkin bout what she can do
Well here we are again, back where we started
Slipped down to the dark again
You left your silhouette on my pillow
Well I'm right inside the night, I'm waitin for the light
Seems like I'm in the, seems like I'm always in the middle
They call me free but I call me a fool

why does it always hurt when they leave?

things I've learned...

2006-06-11T16:48:00.000-04:00

I've been coming out of a weird period of time-the last few days have been really hard for me due to a few differing aspects of my life right about now-and I want to say thank you to the friends who stayed on friday night-you guys really are some of the best people I've ever known. :) As my finals week begins tomorrow and my last few days of my freshman year come closer, I want to write some things that I've learned about myself and about things that I've learned in general.
I saw over the last year that people get closer and others get further and that's okay. I don't think it's ever possible to really lose a friend-even if you have a falling out, there is always that friendship that you once had, and if both people are willing, you can always take steps to get back to it. Friends are always friends, no matter what's going on or how busy anyone is-sometimes they just can't always be there even if they want to. I realized especially this year that even when people leave, they still need their friends no matter how independent they think they are. This is exactly what happened to me and this year was definitely the most difficult between family, money, support, friends, etc. The first year of college didn't happen to be the most difficult scholastically, surprisingly. I realized a lot about myself and about human nature, though. There will always be people that you don't get along with. You can really accomplish anything if you are willing to take initiative and suffer the consequences. Experience is what you make of it. There will always be friends around, new or old even if it doesn't seem that way. Work might be necessary, but it doesn't have to be horrible. Life goes by quickly (sometimes a little too quickly). Procrastinating doesn't help, but eventually you get things done. Keep up on readings. Stay personable. Do more laundry. Watch what you eat to avoid the Freshman 15. Supporting people is sometimes the most imprtant thing that you can do sometimes (even if it means driving up to Irvine for one random night). Nothing is nearly what it seems, and even at nearly 19 I'm still learning about family skeletons and issues-deal with them how you see fit, but sometimes it's best not to intervene. Money is not as important as the world seems to think it is. You cannot buy family or relationships, or even happiness-if there is one thing to remember, it is that experience should never be hindered by it if it can be helped. Learn from the mistakes and experiences of others, especially from those of your parents; it helps you to make your own mistakes, which need to made-there is no question about that. Travel is exciting, but remember finances aside from vacations. Everything in moderation. Love, friendship, family, and your life are all that you have; treat them well and do the best you can. Give your all. Finally, surround yourself with good people. Isolating yourself because you don't like anything in your life, your school, your roomate, your circumstances, etc. will NOT help you to enjoy life. Stay friendly, laugh a lot, and spend time with people who make you happy.

On a less serious note, DO NOT pack all of your belongings for your dorm if you know that you will be bringing it back at the end of the year. Chances are you will not need every pair of shoes you own, your top 20 favorite books, or even all your movies. All scarfs, jeans, purses, jewlery, CDs, action figures, etc. probably won't be necessary. Once again, everything in moderation.

I'm really looking forward to this summer, especially because I can't wait to be near so many wonderful people-working at a summer camp w/ steve, andrew hernandez, and brad munns-these are some of the most wholesome and intelligent friends that I have and I can't wait to spend so much time with them doing something so fun! I'm also really excited b/c I've grown really close with some people that I didn't think I would ever be so close with-some of the people that will be around this summer as so wonderful-and some random special guests will be here too (Jer and, surprisingly, Rob among them). Comic-Con, Lost, Plan 9 From Outerspace, and Firefly marathons will bring even more people to my tiny living room and that's just the way that I like to remember summers when they're over.

On a final note, the chocolate on the cushions on friday wasn't a big deal and I'm sorry if I suddenly became overwhelmed by it-I also know that sometimes people feel discluded b/c word doesn't get around to them-but anyone reading this who would like to come is invited-I'm sure there will be another Lost marathon or something on saturday or sunday (maybe even friday if I can get all of my crap back by then) ;) If you can make it, I'd sure love to have you. Have an awesome summer, everyone, and I'll see you this weekend :)

grey street

2006-06-09T15:15:00.000-04:00

Oh look at how she listens
She says nothing of what she thinks
She just goes stumbling through her memories
Staring out on to Grey Street.
She thinks, "Hey, how did I come to this?"
I dream myself a thousand times around the world
But I can't get out of this place.
There's an emptiness inside her
And she'll do anything to fill it in
But all the colors mix together - to grey
And it breaks her heart
How she wishes it was different
She prays to God most every night
And though she swears it doesn't listen
There's still a hope in her it might
She says "I pray But they fall on deaf ears,
am I supposed to take it on myself?
To get out of this place? "
There's loneliness inside her
And she'll do anything to fill it in
And though it's red blood bleeding from her now
It feels like cold blue ice in her heart
When all the colors mix together - to grey
And it breaks her heart
There's a stranger speaks outside her door
Says take what you can from your dreams
Make them as real as anything
It'd take the work out of courage
But she says "Please
There's a crazy man that's creeping outside my door,
I live on the corner of Grey Street
At the end of the world. "
There's an emptiness inside her
And she'll do anyrthing to fill it in
And though it's red blood bleeding from her now
It's more like cold blue ice in her heart
She feels like kicking out all the windows
And setting fire to this life
She could change everything about her
Using colors bold and bright
But all the colors mix together - to grey
And it breaks her heart
It breaks her heart
To Grey

Post and a Picture!!!

2006-05-22T16:04:00.000-04:00

Waiting for Lauren to get here so we can have our picnic!!!

:)

Really bored, no work today, why start essays now? The weekend was really great- Donny's party was sooo fun and I'm really glad that he loved my gift...I'm just glad that I found something useful. Starbucks was fun, and the next morning I wasn't all that peeved at Erick for staying at my house at the last minute! We took him to Miguel's and I got to see this kid Mick whom I hadn't seen since I left Malibu in 8th grade :) (HAHA YESSSSS Michael Jackson's "Bad" just came on my iTunes...life is goooood.) Then Steve-O came over and so did Aly, we all ate ice cream together, then watched the first four or so episodes of Lost from the second season! Today I went to my classes and I got back my (50%-of-my-grade) Lit essay on Dr. Jekyll's psyche and got a B!!! Might not sound all that great, but considering about 70% of the class got "C" 's, I'd say it's pretty good (and a darned good foundation for, literally, 50% of my grade.) Only a few weeks left of my first year of college, and my grades have all been great (minus that "c" in Stylistics and Grammar...but at least it'll transfer)! I'm happy scholastically, especially because I just found that I don't have a final exam for my poli sci class, but instead only a final essay that's only six pages double-spaced. God bless POLI SCI 13. Now listening to happy Elvis...ahhhh life, you are too cool. Wednesday is Steve-O's "Shadow-A-Steph Day" and he'll be here at about 8am...let the class and mayhem begin. HOPEFULLY Prof Wallace will wear one of his Michael Bluth outfits and look like a carbon copy for Steve....that would be ideal...then OVT burritos will follow...I seriously can't wait until wednesdaaaayyyyy!!!! THEN on friday, a group for X-3!!! Uhm, yes? This week is going to be the best. Ever. Period. Take it, you just take it.

Life is cool, love is great, and I'm a happy kid!...haha and because Lauren STILL isn't here, here's a survey...haven't done one of these in a Loooooooong time:

1. Have you had a gf/bf? This question is DUMBZ0RZ!!!

2. Have you had your birthday? What does this question mean? Like, ever?

3. Gotten drunk? HAH. This survey is REEEEAAAALLLY dumb.

4. Gotten high? I flew in a plane a few times!

5. Smoked a cig? Never.

6. Cried? Yes. Duh.

7. Had someone close to you pass away? Nope...good god. Not yet

8. Pulled an all nighter? YEAH BUDDY!!!!!!!!!!

9. Drank starbucks? Dumb.

10. Went shopping? Uh, also dumb.

11. Been camping? Yes, but in like, 6th grade...I want to go again soon, though!

12. Been to the beach? Lots and lots and lots!

13. Bought something for over $200? Yes. Tuition, plane tickets...lots of times, actually

15. Been out of state? Ya...uh, dumb

16. Visited a family member? ummm yes?

17. Gone snowboarding? Nope. But skiing is a definite yes.

[[In the past month]]

1. Have you had sex? nooooooooooo

2. Kissed someone? On the cheeeeek

3. Slept in a friends bed? Yes at UCI

4. Snuck someone over? No

5. Snuck out of your own house? No

6. Been drunk? Nope

7. Lied? yes...to Steve-O on saturday during Ten Fingers (HAHAHAHA YESSSSS YOU'LL NEVER KNOW AND IT SERVES YOU RIGHT FOR INSTIGATING THAT GAME FOR THAT SOLE PURPOSE!!!!!!)

8. Gotten a car? NO. (sad face)

9. Went over your cell phone bill? That's impossible w/ my phone plan.

10. Been called a whore? Haha no...but that'd be interesting.
11. Drove somewhere? Yessss

12. Been away from home for over 2 nights? uhhhh...hey, college, what's up.

13. Seen an old friend? Yes!

[[In the past week]]

1. Bought something? YES...I think. Aside from food.
2. Choked? nope!

3. Watched t.v for over 3 hours straight? yesterday, Lost. Hellzyeah.

4. Been to the movie theatre? No, but I will tonight

6. Gone skydiving? that'd be pretty sweet, but nope

7. Been to the beach? Yesssssss

8. Smoked? noooooo
9. Done drugs? nooooooooo

10. Gotten a gift from someone? uhhhh...had a white mocha paid for for me? I don't think that counts, though.

11. Been out of control? uhhhh...not really. HAD CRAZY OUT OF CONTROL FUN PLAYING FOOTBALL AT THE BEACH???? Then YES.

12. Sent a text message? This morning back and forth to Charles, actually.

13. Made a CD? No, but I owe mixes to about 4 people...hm, steph, better get on that.

14. Called someone? Hahaha that's the stupidest question anyone could ask me. Seriously. Survery, I'm surprised at you. (And y'know, "at" would really be an incorrect preposition in this case, but it's a common phrase, so if you had some beef w/ it then get over it, pal)

15. Had someone tell you they like you? that's a silly question! As friends, yes, as more, I don't know if it counts...they don't say "like".

[[Lasts]]

1. Thing you bought? A yummy side of mac & cheese from downstairs

2. Person you hugged? Steve

3. Person you kissed? on le mouth? Jer, silly survey! :)

4. Person you talked to? Nikou!

5. Person to call you? Lauren!

6. Last thing you said to someone? "Bye, babe" (to Nikou)...or online, "Have a good lunch"

7. Last time you brushed your teeth? This mornin'

8. Last time you took a bath or shower? Yesterday

9. When was the last time you cried? Yesterday, a little. Thank you, Steve-O :)

10. Last time you felt stupid? Hmmmm...really stupid? At Starbucks on saturday night b/c I was getting tired and my sentences weren't making sense anymore...and everyone caught them. Yay, Nicole for pointing EVERY SINGLE ONE OUT. ;)

11. Last time you walked over 1 mile? Like, every day at school (especially mondays, wednesdays, and fridays)...so...about an hour ago.

I would also just like to point out that me and T-Naks are best friends. Just loving life right now!

:)

memorium.

2006-05-09T01:28:00.000-04:00

I doubt that anyone who reads this will really actually gather how incredible this was for me, but here it goes- the other day ( the day after watching one of the best friends I've ever had rock an improv show), I went up to the Elliott Smith wall w/ Laura.
OK. I think like, Byron would really get this, but hey-I'm listening to "Late" right now, and it JUST dawned on me that the wall Ben was singing about is the elliott wall on sunset. It never actually hit me until now...I suppose it's because when Elliott took his Figure 8 album cover almost 10 years ago there, there was no writing...now it's flooded with fan writings and song lyrics, whoch both Laura and myself contributed to. In any case, under some dirty words on a dirty wall...and it IS dirty. I didn't really know what to expect when I got there, except that it was on the side of a music appliance store. (Music applicance, because, well, some really weird people fix amps and the whole cement office and alcoves are cluttered with bits and pieces of soundboards).

I saw it so quickly and Laura had to use her L.A.-born driving skills to swerve into the empty parking lot right next to it...I don't even really know how to explain how amazing the experience was for me, but if anyone is even slightly interested in going up to see it, I'd love to again while I'm still here.

I guess that what I should say about it to TRY and summarize its importance is that when Elliott died a few years ago, there was no memorial, and so fans lined the dingy wall with candles and flowers and eventually began writing all over it. Because his death was never really clear as to why it occurred or what really happened, it was really powerful to see that people had written some of his own beautiful words alongside things like, "I know you didn't do it."

In any case, here are some of my most treasured pictures as of now: (The second one is my impression of thealbum...close, but a different angle)

Under some dirty words
On a dirty wall
Eating take-out by myself
I played the shows
Got back in the van and put the walkman on
And you were playing

Just wanted to share something beautiful...if anyone wants some of his stuff, please just let me know-I've gotten Laura more into him and I completely introduced Sloane to it-and there is so much more out there. His work was so incredibly beautiful and there really isn't a day that goes by that I don't listen to at least one of his songs. He was a true artist.

The songs you wrote
Got me through a lot
Just want to tell you that...

hmmm...

2006-05-04T02:29:00.000-04:00

Now 11:30 at night when you're tired is NOT a good time to be posting when you're a little angry.
But I will anyways.
I'm glad to have finally made the decisions to leave, and I'm so incredibly excited that my family (marginally including my mom-I know-crazy, right??) ;) is really supporting me on this..kudos to uncle barrett for talking to me for hours about it all (I love you, Unc!!!)

What I find the most odd about it all though, is that some of the people that I've grown closest to in high school are not as, well, there like they were before...well, ok. Let me start over. I think that I really just put too much stock in some people sometimes...but it's hard to draw that line b/c I grew up with some of the same people from preschool and before that until just before high school started. And even though I'm not near them in distance, they've still been really great with our friendships. All of a sudden, a lot of people from high school have sort of...dwindled off. I suppose this is the natural process of things, but I couldn't even listen to Rob when he told me that a year ago. I don't think it's so much that people are just gradually growing apart, I think it really is just part of a change in personality...including in myself, and at least, in the people that I'm ambiguously referring to. I know a couple who read this are of that party, but there's one who doesn't, and she keeps BACKING OUT on almost EVERY plan. With the DUMBEST excuses...and for the last few weekends ...I won't name him...but a current CoSA member and I were supposed to hang out with her and she kept trying to change things and we were like, "What are you doing???" ...which she always pretty much does. GOD ANGSTY BLOG POST. But it's the truth...and I've been noticing it for a few weeks in people...I'm becoming very close with some that I hadn't been before (haha-well, I've pretty much always been close w/ nicole and tony) BUT others too...more so than some of the people I would have called my best friends in high school (who I rarely even see or hear from unless I contact them first) and even then, things are oddly different and I don't feel like that friendship is really existant anymore. Ok...that's about all of it. Hah-I'm sorry to Imp...I'm sure that when you told me to update, you weren't expecting this. Lol-you are not involved in this. Fear not, oh silly one.
So, that's basically what I've been a little ...irked about lately. Aside from that, things are going well...next week is pretty much academic hell week, I see Jer sometime next month (!!!!) -and Steve-O is coming home in another 2 weeks or so, and he's deemed one day of this month "Shadow-a-Steph Day!"...he'll probably LOVE my Poli-Sci class much more than I do. PLUS, my humanities professor really resembles Michael Bluth. I keep trying to take a picture, but I don't want to be the freak in the class that other people catch taking pictures of the prof. Haha-I wish I had super cool spy gear...that'd be pretty handy right about now for that

:)

Mailing out the check tomorrow, wish me luck; and boy oh boy...here's the biggest step I've ever had to take in my life so far...hope it goes well

:)

g'night, everyone!

OBLIGATORY PICTURE UPDATE!!!

2006-04-03T16:29:00.000-04:00

Hey everyone!!!

So the trip was absolutely amazing, and I returned to my first day of new classes in the 3rd quarter back at UCSD only to find that I have been accepted to University of Mary Washington!!!

:)

First of all, the road trip that we took to each school was REALLY insightful-to anyone not in college yet, I say that it's really imperative to actually visit the schools that you apply to. Example: I thought I would love James Madison University and dislike Mary Washington, but when I got there I found that it was second in beauty to only UVa (haha no offense, Sweetie-it's prettier than W&M) ;)

And then I found I got in after I got back! I also decided that W&M, UVa, or UMW would be worth the move, but JMU would not...soooooo...JMU=not too exciting. I've also decided to post pictures of all of the colleges as I hear back from each one. SO, without further ado, I bring you some of the shots of the stunning campus of the University of Mary Washington!

(This tree/picture are from UMW so they go here)

and, lastly, I'd just like to point out that our founding father T. Jeffs is my homeboy. (Although this picture was taken in Colonial Williamsburg...NOT UMW.)

In any case, hope all's well with everyone else!

Much love,

Me

in love...

2006-03-29T10:36:00.000-05:00

complete bliss...

:)

RANDOM COLLEGE PICTURE UPDATE!!!!!!!!!!!

2006-03-03T13:27:00.000-05:00

*edit*

Adding a quiz with accurate results. Haha (especially the "You get along well with others, as long as they play fair" part...lol *eh HEM* I agree most whole-heartedly)

:)

Your Five Factor Personality Profile

Extroversion:

You have high extroversion.
You are outgoing and engaging, with both strangers and friends.
You truly enjoy being with people and bring energy into any situation.
Enthusiastic and fun, you're the first to say "let's go!"

Conscientiousness:

You have high conscientiousness.
Intelligent and reliable, you tend to succeed in life.
Most things in your life are organized and planned well.
But you borderline on being a total perfectionist.

Agreeableness:

You have medium agreeableness.
You're generally a friendly and trusting person.
But you also have a healthy dose of cynicism.
You get along well with others, as long as they play fair.

Neuroticism:

You have low neuroticism.
You are very emotionally stable and mentally together.
Only the greatest setbacks upset you, and you bounce back quickly.
Overall, you are typically calm and relaxed - making others feel secure.

Openness to experience:

Your openness to new experiences is high.
In life, you tend to be an early adopter of all new things and ideas.
You'll try almost anything interesting, and you're constantly pushing your own limits.
A great connoisseir of art and beauty, you can find the positive side of almost anything.

The Five Factor Personality Test

*ORIGINAL POST*

So, uhm, I was doing this scene from "Oleanna" in my acting class, and if you know the show, you know how intense the last scene is; basically, Oleanna gets the shit kicked out of her onstage by her professer whom she wrongfully accuses of raping her. Ok.........GO! So my scene partner is this foreign exchange student Tim, who is luckily amazingly talented AND dedicated. Even much more dedicated than I. It's crazy. In any case, I guess I bruise easily and I took some pictures so that I can look back and be like, "Yeah-that's me. I'm hard core." This bruise is insane. Anywho, I figured, why stop there? I've taken a few pictures and was like, ya know? Time for a college update for everyone to see the random college shiat that goes on. So here we go!!!

:)

(My unkempt side of the room)

(Random tree which I think is pretty)

(Hahahaha, oh those crazy college kids...apparently, they take the extra "N" out of Bonner Hall all the time...they still haven't replaced it.)

Okay, so funny story about this picture- Brad is in the Financial Services Office talking about becoming an independent on his tax return, and someone from the SD Tribune is in there and says they're doing a story about student finances...they want to take a picture of him and this other girl in the office to put in the paper; Brad told me he intentionally posed in a dramatic style to beat out the other girl's picture...guess it worked, because this was definitely a huge freaking picture in the Tribune a couple of weeks ago...Nicole was here for the whole story when it first happened. AMAZING Picture.

We have lakes toooo!!! No CHS, but I saw it and my mind meandered back to my high school days of old. In any case, there you have it!

And facebook joins hands with high schools and universities nation-wide...it's pretty exciting.
:)

ALSO exciting! RANDOMLY Aly was like, We're visiting Tony next week so I'm like, Ok, sweet deal. THEN she's like, next day though, I'm meeting some people at Disneyland. And I'm like, Can't spend $60 on a ticket b/c I'm going to Busch Gardens in VA and need to save for that. THEN, she's like, Use Mallory's pass and b/c it's a blockout day for her, just pay the extra $30. So I'm like, Sweet deal. So next weekend entails seeing Tony and probably his show, Disneyland, then the next night, the Ben Taylor concert w/ Brad & Adam Munns and Amanda Marks. It's going to be amazing. This weekend includes getting my taxes done and trying to read 2 Thebian plays for my HUM essay that's due a week from monday...and after all of that stuff for next weekend? Gotsta do it ahead of time. (I'll actually be DOING my essays NOT 10 hours or less before they're due...incredible). ALSO-this school has turned me into a major lit head. Seriously-I've found that I must be in the right mood for Virginia Woolf, E.B. White can write outside of Stuart Little and Charlotte's Web, Hunter S. Thompson is a freaking drugged up genious, and that I dislike Hemmingway's style immensly. I have also determined that my favorite author as of now is James Joyce; all of you non-Oxford students will read "A Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man" senior year-by far one of my favorites and, if you have Mayfield (which I hope you will), you'll see the amazing technique involved. James Joyce = best. Period. I'm really hoping to take a class next quarter called "The End of Victorianism" which studies among others, Robert Louis Stevenson and H.G. Wells. Fingers crossed there'll still be seats when I sign up on monday morning.

But that's about all...congrats to Nicole who's finding out about her college acceptances in the next two weeks or so-I know you'll do just fine, baby. Seriously. You'll be great.

Ok-work in about an hour and I'm hungry. Much love to you all, and have a fantabulous day!!!!

:)

(P.S. Flight to VA = 17 days and counting!!!!)

*beaming*

This will be an awesome day!!!

2006-02-25T12:41:00.000-05:00

Aly = asleep in my bed.
Erick = asleep on my floor.

Cassidy, whom I have known since preschool will be having lunch with us in a couple of hours. I am a VERY happy panda. (Tonight = Moliere)

:)

OK so I saw this and went...ok, Collin. I'll do it. WHATevs. (Feeling sort of sassy right now). HAHAHAHA SPEAKING OF SASSY NICOLE I NEED TO TELL YOU SOMETHING REALLY EFFING FUNNY ABOUT THE ESSAY I WROTE HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.
ok. itunes, here I come:

Open iTunes/iPod or Windows Media Player to answer the following. Go to your library. Answer these, no matter how embarrassing it is.

How many songs?
5, 014

Sort by artist
First artist: "Weird Al" Yankovic (cause of the quotes)
Last artist: Zoot Sims (...that's the english one...there's some crazy ass Japanese composer from the "Howel's Moving Castle" soundtrack...obviously, no freaking clue how to write that in Japanese characters here. But it's there. Just keeping it in mind.)

Sort by song title
First Song: HAHAHAHAHAHA "-Ending-Sekai No Yakusoku" from the "Howel's Moving Castle" soundtrack. FOLLOWED by "...Baby One More Time".
Last Song: Zorro's Theme (damn straight)

Sort by time
Shortest Song: sound clips aside, it's the Yugoslavian national anthem. This was for an Econ project last year. Shut up. (0.08)
Longest Song: "Goodbye Sky Harbor" by Jimmy Eat World (16:14)

Sort by album
First Album: ...Baby One More Time (need I say more?)
Last Album: Zooropa (U2)

First song that comes up on shuffle: "For No One" The Beatles...compliments of Revolver. It beats Sgt. Pepper's, my brother is an idiot for saying it doesn't.

How many songs come up when you search for sex: 14
How many songs come up when you search for death: 17 (NOT morbid, just lots of Deathcab)
How many songs come up when you search for love: 252

That's it!

:)

Last night Erick tried to teach me how to drive stick, I stalled. Basically, I suck at stick. Just go ahead and laugh. But then Aly told me about when she learned; she stalled in the middle of an intersection and she and her dad started yelling at each other...didn't feel so bad then. Haha-awwww Aly. (Currently listening to "Banana Man" by Tally Hall. AMAZING. Haahaha-this band's so funny.) Yeah ok- gotta call Cass. For everyone who's sick, feel better!

:)

HAPPY VALENTINES DAY!!!

2006-02-14T19:11:00.000-05:00

Okay, okay-haha I guess I've only been updating recently (recently=in the eye of the beholder) when you guys tell me to. So here I am! (Or, more literally, here is my post.)

Life is good! Things have been insanely busy...I took a really fun midterm today for my Lit Stylistics and Grammar course then took a theatre safety test...also tons of fun. Well, those were the bad parts of the day. The first great point was waking up to the happiest phone call in the world and I couldn't wait to get through the whole day! I went to my classes, heard Jer open his V-Day package from me, went to lunch w/ my friend Yao, got my package from him (I LOVE YOUUU), flipped through them w/ Yao and Jer on the phone, went to my sound class, and that's where I am now. Yao and I are going to meet up for dinner soon (lots of college "special" dining tonight on account of the holiday) and I'm hoping to watch "The Man Who Knew Too Much"...well, because I love Jimmy Stewart, I love Grace Kelly, and, most importantly, I love Hitchcock. I've also got to meet up w/ my friend Alex to just refresh a scene that we perform tomorrow morning for Acting 101 (which Nicole got the pleasure of participating in...gotta love those sun salutations at the start of every class).

Yeah! Nicole slept over uh....2 nights ago? We hung out w/ the Munnsies and ate free fondu...basically, the best night she could have come on...free fondu? We were all over that. (Yummm) (HAHAHA and thanks for the suggestion for that essay, Nicole bwahahaha I'm going to hell but it was your idea.) And yeah! I have the day off of work today AND no rehearsal until the thursday night performance, so I'm a pretty happy panda. ALSO! I'm so glad just about all of you are coming to the show this weekend...and I won't be striking that night so we can all hang out afterwards :) You're the best. No questions. None.

Haha just caugt sight of when I wrote "Munsies" and I'm super stoked b/c Brad got me in to Ben Taylor (son of Carlie Simon and James Taylor...great genes, right? Yeesh.) AND yesterday he told me that Ben Taylor will be here next month at the House of Blues and was like, "We're going." And I was like, "Hell yes we are." So I'm totally going to see Ben Taylor...he's SOOOO good. SchgoddAim.

Today= a great milestone. Haha-I totally was excited for today but dreading it. Dreading it b/c of that killer Grammar midterm, anticipating it b/c 5 weeks from today exactly I'll be on a plane back to VA-AND tomorrow is seven months! I love you SO much you can't even believe it!! Haha- well, hopefully you can ;) I've never been happier in my entire life. Thank you, thank you a thousand times THANK YOU!!!!!
Geez Louise...life goes by SO quickly sometimes! And I'm already over halfway through with the second quarter. This is just insane. TRULY-I don't know how time has flown by like this...oh well-haha I'm the happiest I've ever been and THAT's the best part. :)

So happy V-Day!!!!

MUUUAH!

updateupdateupdate

2006-01-13T21:36:00.001-05:00

Hey Nicole! I know you've like, GOTTA know what's up w/ my life, but for serious-lol sometimes there's just nothing too interesting going on. ;) (I <3 Nicole)

Haha that whole not interesting thing isn't actually true (although sometimes I wish it were). Lots of stuff in my life right now! I just recently started rehearsals for West's "Measure for Measure" which is looking AMAZING-I swear to god these actors are f-ing brilliant-I just love watching them...seriously-everyone should be able to see performers like this on a daily basis. Mother of GOD. It'll be opening in mid-february, so I'll keep you all updated on that! :)

In other news, I've been trying to get a job for the rest of the school year and am having amazing luck! I realized that to continue writing in a professional sense, I should have some experience on my resume other than theatre. (Haha-makes sense, doesn't it?) It took me a while to figure it out, but I actually just applied for the job of being a copy reader/editor and also for writing for the UCSD Guardian. I've been keeping in really great contact with the incredibly nice managing editor, a fourth-year named Vlad; yesterday in an email he told me that he suspects that I'll be hired for at least one of the jobs there. Whoopieeee!!!!! :) I'm really hoping that it all works out-it seems like a great place to learn the ins and outs of journalism! I also applied for a job as a receptionist for one of the professional psychiatrists in the UCSD Thornton Hospital...that, too, would be great experience, especially if I were to pursue psychiatry and medicine. She told me today that she wants to hire me, but I told her I would have to see what my schedule looks like, and that I would look into it; not to come off cold, of course. There is an actual issue with my taking the job. Because the hospital is so out of the way, I have to take a campus shuttle both ways, then the job ends at six, and I have rehearsal every night at 6:30-I just don't know if I'd be able to make it back. PLUS, I'm taking 18 units, PLUS I'd rather take my chances with the paper, because that IS something that I aspire to do.

Woo. So that's been a big time-consumer for this last week. Other than that, it's pretty good to be back. I really love home, but I feel much better when I'm more independent and budgeting everything myself. Although the school isn't my favorite place to be, I'm glad that I'm back and (sort of) living on my own again. :)

Friends-wise, things are great! I've talked on and off with Collin and Charles a lot today, which always makes me happy. Also planning a trip up to San Fran fw/ Collin and Jer for Steve-O's bdayin march, so we're looking into tickets...I freaking love travel. (And I honestly think that this trip will be the best ever b/c I'll be traveling w/ my two favorite people!) Yes yes. Lol just ate dinner w/ my friend Yao from Wisconsin and I'm about to start a stupid essay that HAS to be done by february first, but I'm so incredibly scared because it could potentially change my entire life. YIKES. Then I'm chillin' w/ Lauren and Bren at around nine! :)

And something incredibly amazing to me-sunday is my 6 month (official) anniversary w/ Jer. How the hell did that time go by so quickly??? I don't understand. I do know, however, know that I can't wait for many more months and years and decades and any other length of time to share with him. I absolutely love him. Thank you for everything, Sweetie-how you do it is beyond me.

:)

And tomorrow I'll be at The Boyfriend w/ Lauren, Bren and Lily! (Flip signs, YES.) Break a leg to everyone in the cast tonight, tomorrow afternoon and tomorrow night! Donnie, C-Bell and C-Dawg...I'm cheerin' for ya!

Well...haha time to start that essay AKA my death warrant. (Too much time in "Measure" rehearsal lol) yeah-totally NOT my death warrant, but it's huge...too bad this process won't be over with for MONTHS. YEESH. Okay-I love you all and I'm so incredibly proud of all of you-whether you just finished college applications (Nicole) or are performing (like, ALL of you!), or are just...I dunno, trying ketchup for the first time or something crazy. (I don't know anyone who's doing that, but hey-someone reading this out there could very well be.)

;)

Good luck on everything, everyone!!!!

" Everybody knows
Everybody knows
You only live a day
But it's brilliant anyway..."

surveys...eh, why not??

2006-01-05T14:40:00.000-05:00

It seems like Byron started a trend w/ his like, a month ago...yup, the 2005 surveys. Why not?

(I liked Bina's best, so here it is!!!) :

The Year 2005:

[P E O P L E]
1. Best friends? pretty much the same as 2004...but at the end of the year got really close with Sloane again and thank GOD b/c I really love her back in my life.
2. Best boyfriend/girlfriend? the obvious one about the boyfriend part... :) *beams* but as a different couple? Lauren and Bren hands down
3. Lost any friends? nope
4. Gained any friends? yes yes
5. Met a new good friend? I'm gonna have to go w/ Chris and John in VA...they're nuts!

[P L A C E S]
1. Went out of the country? not this year...
2. New school? haha yeah.
3. How many times on an airplane this year? 2
4. Road trips? Medeivel Times w/ mah hunny and his brother and his brother's best friend last summer...lol and drove all over VA...I don't really think any other than that.
5. Moved? well, yeah, partially to ucsd

[Y O U]
1. Have you changed? oh yes
2. New look? not really...not that I can tell
3. Any new addictions? J.A.S.
4. Biggest conflict this year?... there've been a couple. The biggest was where to go for college...lol I guess I fucked that one up...BUT, the other one? glad it happened and worked out :)
5. Most depressed time this year? definitely like, a two-week span in June

[L O V E]
1. Did you fall in love? yes :)
2. Did you get heartbroken? haha yeah...during that 2-week span in june
3. Who was your summer love? if you really don't know the answer to that then you're either living under a rock or ...you're just plain silly
4. How many boyfriends/girlfriends this year? solamente uno
5. Favorite date? hmmm...that's tough...sitting on the rocks at the Del and talking at about midnight

[S E A S O N S]
1. Favorite Season? winter back east
2. Least favorite season? fall.
3. Good birthday? yeah! 18's a cool age, plus I spent it w/ Lauren and Bren :) LOL the birthday party didn't work out too well b/c everyone wanted to lynch me and Collin by the end of it ;)
4. Any snow this year? yes and hopefully I'll have it allll the time (*fingers crossed*)
5. Highest temperature? uhhhh...no clue on that one

[F I N A L Q U E S T I O N S]
1. Snuck out? heh. Yeah-once
2. Met a person who will change your life? oh most definitely
3. Kept your resolution? haha did I even have one???
4. Got arrested? lol no way
5. Had a first something? yes, many.
6. Drank Alcohol? n/a...? maybe?
7. Smoked weed/drugs? no sir/ma'am
8. Did anything illegal? uhhhh...yes.
9. Kissed a boy/girl? both (kate was my new years kiss!!!!!)
10. Had a crush? haha yeah
11. Liked someone who didn't like you? apparantly not :)
12. Lost a family member? no, but almost lost my younger cousin in Wales
13. Got bad grades? hmmmm that C+ in Analysis of the Spanish Language from last quarter. Bite me, UCSD.
14. Got suspended? no no no
15. Moved states? no (sadly)
16. Got a myspace? been there for a while
17. Learned an instrument? no-wish I had, though
18. Started a band? nah...came up w/ lots of cool band names w/ James, however!
19. Spent over 1 million dollars? haha seems like it
20. Went streaking? noooo
21. Done something you shouldn't have? depends...
22. Kept a secret? yes!
23. Told a secret ? hahahahaha oh my god most definitely
24. Done something you totally regret? if ucsd counts then yes
25. Changed your view on things? yeah- to a small extent

that's it! That one was pretty painless :)

Ok-gotta run b/c Aly's coming here in about half an hour to get me and I'm still in my pajamas...basically awesome.

:)

Best of luck to everyone in 2006; I'm sure it's going to be an amazing year for everyone!!!

:)

P.S. to everyone who came over for cookies last night...sorry that they turned out so un-cookie-like.

lol uhhhh....more arrested development soon?

;)

heyheyheykate'sonherway!!!!!!!!!!

2005-12-30T15:27:00.000-05:00

Hey everyone!!!!!
So I get a call about half an hour ago and it's one of my bestest friends ever KATE MUSELLI!!!!

Apparently she'd been talking with my mom about driving down to visit me and I had no idea-so she calls and is like "HIII!!!!! I'M COMING DOWN RIGHT NOW!!!" So I'm super freakin' stoked and excited to seeee herrrrr :)
Now Sloane's on her way to get me!! Lot's and lots of fun shopping soon. I'm so glad that we're close again-I hate knowing that things have slipped away but now it's all good (and I slept over at her house the other night and her mom didn't even know..hahahahah)
...I need to get someone a birthday present and I don't know what to get!!! hmmmm...
RPG was really fun last night. Seeing as Steve wouldn't allow me to actually use code names such as "Agent Deepthroat" (EVEN THOUGH there was historical journalist relevance to back that one up) or "Stealth Panda", I settled with a different one...I dunno. Stealth Panda was pretty badass. Anywho, I had lots of fun and I think that Lily and I are going to be the most kickass team (each boasting a CHA of 18...hells yes.) Lots of mango slices were eaten. (Yummmm).

Isn't it amazing sometimes that although you might feel or see, something happens and all of a sudden your sight intensifies and you're even more awe-struck by it than you were before? I dunno-that just happened to me yesterday and I couldn't appreciate what I have more. Thank you (I love you) and I love all of my friends SO MUCH Jesus Cristo. :)
I burned Sloane Elliott Smith and am very happy. I also saw Byro for the first time in a while 2 days ago and had a lot of fun hanging out w/ him that night-I'm glad that he randomly called us and we went and ran across streets and immitated Jewel and by god I've had so much fun w/ Sloane :)

But now I am off to Best Buy!!! I'm sure that I'll update this...maybe tomorrow...? lol but maybe not cus kate'll be here.

In case I don't, here's a HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!! to everyone-I'm sure I'll actually be seeing most of you tomorrow night, but y'know. I guess that I'll just say now that 2005 was a really monumental year for me-between graduation, college, Jer, travel, friends, family...it's been really big and, for the most part, really great for me. I've thought a lot, expanded my views, experienced some amazing things, met a lot of different people, made some friends, made some not-so-friends (lol), performed, learned, laughed, and loved.2005 has been really great to me-thanks to everyone who was a part of it; if you're readin this now, then I'm sure you influenced it in one way or another-and thank you to everyone who did, good or bad, because you all made it what it was (and that is one BITCHEN year!!) :)
I love you all, and a happy new year!

...

I wish the world was flat like the old days
Then i could travel just by folding a map
No more airplanes, or speedtrains, or freeways
There'd be no distance that can hold us back.

There'd be no distance that could hold us back

So this is the new year....

HAPPY 2006, everyone!!!

:)

HAPPY BOXING DAY, EVERYONE!!!!

2005-12-26T05:14:00.000-05:00

Her everybody! I just got back from L.A. about an hour ago and I'm trying to finish this challenge that Jer gave me last wednesday...

It all started on the train ride up and while we were talking on the phone he asked me what my ONE favorite song could be if I could choose it...I told him that out of the 5,000 songs that I had with me, I would be able to do my top twenty AT LEAST...he then said ok, do it, and I went ummm...can I change it to fifty? ...In which case he said no. The rules have now since changed to my top 20, or however many can fit onto one cd. SO, this has been taking up hours of my time, but I'm resolved to actually figure it out...I'm on the "N's" now...well...this is he second cut. I went through all 5,000, which ended up being a playlist of 297. I'm NOW going through THAT to figure out which are my tops. (P.S. In a random response to Will's comment on the last post, N. Arizona SO does not = or even COMPARE in being better than the east coast, my friend.) But back to the list...I'm going to do it now (It's 2:20am) or else come goddamn close to it before I go to sleep.
I really want to be cool like everyone and make an inventory on here but b/c I was in L.A. I still haven't opened the presents between my mother and myself...but I've got a goddamned good list so far.
Highlights include:

$1,100
A portable dvd player
An actual Coach bag (wtf...?)
A necklace from Fred Segal (another wtf...?)
A casmere sweater
A Broadway dvd pack (which Jer was ALSO given by his parents...lol that, I believe, calls for yet another wtf...?) ;)
Victoria's Secret PINK pajamas
"Plan 9 from Outerspace" on dvd (hailed by critics as the all-time worst scifi/all together movie ever made)
Books (Broadway and The Making of "Memoirs...")
A Christmas Crooner CD
Chocolate
Lancome makeup
Batman Begins (thank you, Sweetie)
LOTS of awesome-tastic action figures
A SIX MONTH SUBSCRIPTION TO NETFLIX thanks to mah one and only :)
And The Mummy 3-pack on dvd
A new robe/socks
A scarf/gloves set
2 new dresses

...I know I'm forgetting some things, but I'll try to remember later...I've also still got to exchange gifts w/ my mom and my brother/his girlfriend tomorrow (which is really today...P.S. Happy Boxing Day, all!) and a few more family members...YEESH. This Christmas turned out to be way insane on the receiving end. I could never ask for a better family-they're amazing and never cease to amaze and warm me.
Well...although this post has distracted me from the music challenge, I think I'll put up some pictures from this year's huge Scotti family Christmas production in Beverly Hills (this year it was at my Uncle Tony and Aunt Sylvie's...it alternated between them and Carol and Ben every year.)

This one is definitely Donny holding up my Christmas tree with one hand. No folks, this is no optical illusion. :) LOL Btw this is NOT from the family function, although it would have been awesome if it were.

A picture that I took of the Del w/ Tony, Emily, Donny, Suca, and Meryn...right before I got told to NOT jump in the ice shavings off of the rink. HAH-but boy, did I enjoy it while it lasted.

This is our cat Banjo...sometimes I really wish that everyone could just be as laid-back as this guy.

Haha a very blurry picture of the dog, Loftus (btw's, I didn't name 'em)...Also, a sidenote: when I keep uploading these I always catch the pictures of me and Jer out of the corner of the screen and they make me so friggin' happy!!! :)

Dee, my daddy, and myself right before the Christmas party :)

This is my Uncle Ben Scotti...he's like The Godfather, I swear to Coppola.

This is my Aunt Ann...she's the best old dame you'll find anywhere on the face (or the core, for that matter) of the earth. No one else can compare to her strength; the true backbone of the family.

My cousin Anna, her daughter Victoria (my favorite kid in the family, but don't tell Courtney), and my amazing Aunt Carol.

Aunt Carol and Uncle Ben's two sons, Anthony and Ben Jr. Pretty goddamned cute if you ask me.

The three Scotti Brothers: Tony, Ben, and Fred. :) Basically, they're Italian rich badasses. It doesn't get too much cooler.

And now from my mom's side, my Uncle Frank and Aunt Maria, whom we saw only a few hours ago!

And another random one from right before the Christmas party!

And lastly, the very English Sam Bardens and myself; Sam is the son of the late Pete Bardens, my mom's best friend for years. We've grown up together and he's practically my (other) brother. And yes, ladies, he's single and he'll be here in a few days ;) (Haha oh yeah and he's got the accent.)

I'm sorry that this turned out to be such a photo thing of my family...lol actually that was more for Jer b/c he's been wondering what most of my dad's side of the family looks like. In other news, I'm on the "R's"...closing in on it... :)

Okay...now it's 3:05 am...I'm through the 297 and it's now down to 80...here's where it gets tough. HOLY SHIT...I'm listening to random parts of each song and they're all amazing...This is now the best playlist I could have ever devised. (...but WHICH Beatles song is the best?)

Okay...it's 3:18 and I've got it to 25...

The five that were just edited out:
"Bust a Move"-Young MC
"Nothing I Can Do"-Ben Taylor
"Requiem"-Mozart (All movements for convenience's sake...if I were to make a "Best Written/Composed" cd, this would be No. 1, though...however, these are my "All-Time Favorite" songs)
"#41" Acoustic Version-Dave Matthews Band
"Enjoy the Silence"-Depeche Mode

Uhm....it is NOW down to 20, but it still won't fit on a cd...but I think that I'll narrow it down until it does, and then anyone who wants a copy can have one b/c I'll burn it and it'll all fit...lol...if people have actually read this far. Ok.
More off the list:
"Layla"-Eric Clapton
"One"-U2...yeah...holy crap, I can't believe I just deleted that song from the list...but now you know just how close it is.

Okay...so...hah...if you're still readin, kudos to all of you. Here's my top 18 thus far in my life (all 18 years of it)...weird how that worked out, but now it all fits on one cd. This is in no particular order, only that it has a good flow. At 3:59am (I *told* you I would do it, Sweetie..haha thank you for the challenge, though...it's been since wednesday afternoon.)

The Final Cut:

1. "The Stranger" - Billy Joel

2. "Waltz #2 (XO)" - Elliott Smith

3. "White Room" - Cream

4. "Georgia On My Mind" - Ray Charles

5. "In My Life" - The Beatles

6. "I Heard It Through the Grapevine" - Marvin Gaye

7. "Since You're Gone" - The Cars

8. "Mr. Tambourine Man" - Bob Dylan

9. "Ana Ng" - They Might Be Giants

10. "I've Got You Under My Skin" - Frank Sinatra

11. "It's All Over Now Baby Blue" - Them

12. "Shape of My Heart" - Sting

13. "Boy's Gone" - Jason Mraz

14. "If I Didn't Believe in You" - Nortbert Leo Butz

15. "One Headlight" - The Wallflowers

16. "Hopeless" - Train

17. "Late" - Ben Folds

18. "Time of the Season" - The Zombies

That's all, everyone-have a wonderful Boxing Day and have fun w/ all of your holiday stuffs! Thanks for reading all of this...lol or, if you just scrolled without reading, thanks for at least skimming to here! Much love, everyone-

time for bed NOW.

:)

Goodnight, goodnight,
Sweet baby
The world has more for you
Than it seems
Goodnight, Goodnight
Let the moonlight take a lift off your dreams...

*EDIT ADD*

Man-life is strange...I just got such a stranger nostalgic feeling an hour or so ago and started readin some of my really old xanga entries, some of Jase's, some of Jer's. Life is so strange to me sometimes-so many things happen, people come and go, we all go through phases in our lives. I dunno-Everything that happened only a few years ago seems like forever-I don't even remember these days that I wrote about (even right before Grease auditions, before starting work at coldstone, etc.)...I dunno-it's natural, I suppose; I guess that we all forget so much. This might be random, but I know that most people never read this or even knew me then. A random part of my life that I just feel like posting for reflection. This is from a long time ago-but I read my comment and thought-my god-I was so wise then...sometimes I wonder if I was a lot wiser earlier on in my life...even in childhood...than I am now.

Wednesday, September 03, 2003
here new entry, title "feelings"

you think i dont care, i do
you think i dont look back, i do, i really wish that i could take back all i did not just to steph but to everybody, i find myself looking back too much now adays thinking about everything
you think i have no heart, i do its just very small and black but i have one
you think that i talk and write about these girls to make me feel better, thats not true, afterwards i just feel like shit
i think the pain should stop, i want to talk to steph and my friends but its too late i've put people through too much to talk to them now
nothing i do will take back anything or even help
its too late
Posted 9/3/2003 at 6:58 PM - email it

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2 Comments

Listen, jase. Andy told me not to talk to you anymore...but whatever. He also said that you weren't going to go on Xanga anymore, so you probably won't even get this...in fact, you've probably blocked me (haha). Oh well; so I heard you were going to call last night, but you never did. I'm getting used to it. Dan took my hat and said he'd come over to return it last night but he never did. (What is it with guys taking my hats.....??? lol.) So, mainly I'm just writing to say, no, this is not going to bridge any gap between us...you have to do that. And if you even want a friendship I guess we may have to work on that, too. If you're not willing, then okay, just remember that it was your choice (again). But I am...I always have been...you were (and still are) such a huge part of my life...I don't feel right just letting that go. But, it's your call. (Hahaha...didn't mean that literally). Then again, like I said, you probably won't get this, and even if you do, you probably won't respond. So, enjoy not caring...that's how andy put it. But I guess I'll never know, will I?
Posted 9/4/2003 at 5:50 PM by wildhoney40

How strange life is-how much we go through and forget...so many people, so many places, so many memories that we bury or conveniently overlook as we grow...I'm sorry if this add-in is so melodramatic and personal, but it's amazing to me...we all go through it. I dunno-I suppose I'm just feeling introspective.

:)

Have an awesome day, everyone-I hope the sunshine brings everyone as much happiness as possible today. :)

love and memories.

2005-12-18T11:42:00.000-05:00

R.E.M. once wrote “It’s easier to leave than to be left behind”-although debatable, I’ve found that to be exceedingly untrue today. I’m writing this post from MS Word on my laptop en route, in air to California; by the time you’ll be reading this, I’ll have landed and found some internet connection to post this thing up. I could never understand why Joel hated CA so much-I never got it until now. I don’t necessarily hate it, but I can now and finally see where he’s coming from. I want change in my life. I want snow and I want that excitement that you feel knowing that seasons change and leaves fall and sunsets are hues of blue and green and not of pink and gold. I’m staring at the background on my laptop behind this program-I took it on the trip from the top of the Crim Del bridge at William & Mary-I’ll never forget that bridge and the view I saw there-the lake is a muted teal and the leaves are a bright red and orange. I boarded the plane and the officers announced that the current San Diego temperature is 60 degrees-I miss the cold air and seeing breath through your nose and the freezing rain and the warmth of sitting inside and watching falling water hit the leaves outside.
I’ve had too many amazing memories and impressions from the east coast now-coming back to California makes me so sad; it seems so constant and unchanging. I know it so well. For my entire life I’ve lived in southern California (“South Cali” for Chris)…I never thought that being away from the ocean would appeal to me, and suddenly it does. Good GOD I need change.
And it seems that every time I say goodbye to Jeremy it gets harder and harder (this counts time number three)-I suppose this traces back to the opening of this post, but it was so much more bearable to be the one left behind; you can easily cope with the fact that you yourself did not leave or abandon for any reason. When you leave-you can’t rationalize that feeling no matter how hard you try, and whatever you come up with is never sufficient. (You have to leave today-why? So you can see your own family for Christmas. Oh, really? -And why exactly can’t I just stay out here? …and you can come up with no further answers.) It kills and it stings-I’ve never been put in that position before. Hah-christ-my eyes are so puffy and dry right now and any amount of Louis XIV that I listen to will not cure it.
I’ve decided that I love D.C. I do-it’s a busy city without most of the traffic. And when there is, take the metro! The National Gallery of Art is beautiful and the streets and areas around there are actually clean and well kempt. It’s a great city. My word for northern Virginia that I decided upon was “quaint”; snow on fallen branches and rooftops, acres of land between brick houses, etc. I surprised myself by liking it so much. I think that was a big shock for me-I could never see myself living anywhere but California; all of a sudden, I wished I had grown up someplace like that.
Jer, I miss you like crazy already. This is just ridiculous. Taking off, I looked at the pictures that I took today of you and me and of Chris (especially with that scary elf…but seriously, wtf.) I cried when I saw the pictures of us outside of your grandparents’ house in front of the snow because our eyes look red and bleary from crying upstairs. I cried again as we took off knowing that for the first five minutes of flight or so, we were flying over where you were at that very moment; I hope that your family dinner and your movie pass your time as quickly as I hope my plane lands so that I can call you the second that I’m able to turn my phone on. As Iron & Wine is singing right now, “you’re like grace from the earth.” I miss you and I miss the way that at any angle, my head fits right into that crook between your neck and shoulder, and our arms fit around the other. Last night we suffered through the most uncomfortable sleeping conditions in the world but there was no way in hell that I would fall asleep without you scrunched up next to me somehow on my last night there. (We were crammed together in his grandparents’ living room on the narrowest couch you’ll ever see-by our own choice.)
That week was so much fun and I really loved meeting everyone that I’d talked to on the phone from W&M. My personal favorites happened to be Chris and John, the coolest goddamned roommates on the face of the planet. I ended up cheese sampling with them in colonial Williamsburg, shopping, stealing lots of samples of peanut brittle from The Peanut Shop, falling asleep w/ Jer in their room, eating, and hanging out. (Also add in those random elves AND spilling three different samples of Starbucks on me somehow three different freaking times-go figure, right?) Haha-it was wonderful and I’m so glad that I know them now. (Also, John, one more apology for calling you out on that desktop background of yourself.) ;) P.S. I also had dinner w/ Jer, John, and Andrew Hernandez, a CHS graduate from my freshman year (anyone in “Fiddler…” would remember him, but I think the only people who will read this and know him are Jer, now John, Collin, Steve, and possibly his little brother David.) The oriental buffet? WELL worth the walk in like, 25 degrees!
I think that that just about concludes this post-thank you to Charles & Collin, Aly (I think your message made Jeremy and myself laugh so hard we almost cried…Aly, we KNOW that your psychiatrist could not have said those things…namely because you haven’t got one.), Lauren, Tony, Cass, and Suca for all calling during the trip to just say hey. ☺

To fully see the pictures below, scroll your page to the right and go back to the top. When you come back to them, they should be loaded and not cut-off. :)

Here are some pictures from the trip that I love-I hope you love them as much as I do…it really is beautiful out there and I cannot wait to get back there myself; I also highly recommend it to anyone for a great vacation. ☺

Jer, Me & Chris being brave at one of the top 3 most haunted houses on the nation :)

haha me and my darlin' being wise-asses

"They say if you bring a girl to the top of this bridge and kiss her there you'll be in love forever."

An amazing sunset ^^^^^^^

The amazing John Quinn! (I felt the facial expression was cause for an exclamation point in the caption.) :)

Chris. He's amazing...and reading the ham catalogue we took from The Peanut Store.

I love this boy more than ANYTHING.

the view from our bridge (also my desktop background)

W&M!!!!

Haha this is pretty self-explanitory :)

Possibly the most random and fun day we had

Love of mine some day you will die
But I'll be close behind
I'll follow you into the dark

No blinding light or tunnels to gates of white
Just our hands clasped so tight
Waiting for the hint of a spark
If heaven and hell decide
That they both are satisfied
Illuminate the no's on their vacancy signs

If there's no one beside you
When your soul embarks
Then I'll follow you into the dark

If heaven and hell decide
That they both are satisfied
Illuminate the no's on their vacancy signs

If there's no one beside you
When your soul embarks
Then I'll follow you into the dark

You and me have seen everything to see
From Bangkok to Calgary
And the soles of your shoes are all worn down
The time for sleep is now
It's nothing to cry about
Cause we'll hold each other soon
In the blackest of rooms

If heaven and hell decide
That they both are satisfied
Illuminate the no's on their vacancy signs

If there's no one beside you
When your soul embarks
Then I'll follow you into the dark
Then I'll follow you into the dark

Time for an update!

2005-12-08T11:20:00.000-05:00

Hey everyone! Just sittin' in the theatre building waiting for my theatre class to start to I can do my final performance and then, theoretically, I'll be able to go home...I might stick around for a couple more hours, though-I dunno. Hmmmm...yo no se. (haHAA, I'm done w/ Spanish forever unless I choose to ever take it again.)
I'm done with packing, which is awesome-I now have 2 carry-ons for the VA trip and one HUGE duffel bag for the remaining three weeks of my break at home/in L.A...that should do it! :) Oh man-I'm so glad to get out of here for a while. GoodGOD-I'm so happy-Jer THE DAY AFTER TOMORROW-I SEE HIM THE DAY AFTER TOMORROW-WTF?!?!?!?!?! AHHHHHHH!!!!

HAHAHA holy crap...nuts. incredibly crazy. INCREDIBLE! AH! Okay...in any case...(I'm beaming right now) last night was really fun-I went out to dinner w/ Lauren and Bren at Cozy Mel's and spent a lot on dinner...but it was really good...at the end of your meal they give you "white chocolate tamales" which are really just thin really good pieces of white chocolate in that corn husk tamale casing...mmmmm...then we went into a bookstar and messed around in there for a while- GOD I love them-I'm so glad that I can still see them at least like, once a week-it makes me very very happy :)

Ok-the rest of the group's here-I'm sure I'll update before the flight on sat...but if not, I love you all!!!

MUAH!!!!!

:)

LIFE IF WOOOONNNNNDERFUL!

2005-12-02T01:58:00.000-05:00

Hey everyone!

So today wasn't so good just because I kept thinking to myself...why the hell am I at this school? It's pretty lame. (BUT, hopefully with some plans in progress ;) ...I LOVE you... that will all change. And relatively soon.)

So my mom came by and we went shoppin...which always makes me happy. I got a dress, a pair of jeans, a sweater, a birthday present for James, a piece of marzipan (yummmm) and...oh! and a super happy tank top. It was quite the awesomtastic shopping venture! (Thank you mommy!!!!) Then Collin helped me on the phone like, for 40 minutes helping me print out a picture present for a fam member and it was taking FOREVER. It was pretty damn ridiculous if I may say so myself...and I WILL. Hah! I'm in a happy happy mood right now. Oh GOD-SO freaking happy! Today I got the best 2 minute call in the world; I was in a store w/ my mom and Jer calls and is like, "IJUSTWANTEDTOCALLANDSAYILOVEYOUSOILOVEYOUSOOOOMUCHJUSTCALLMEBACKASSOONASYOUCANILOVEYOUBYEBABE!!!" It made me so incredibly giddy...and I'll be there having the greatest break EVER and it's only like, EIGHT DAYS AWAY. HAHAHA I LOVE CHRISTMAS!!!!!
I'm really excited to see how he likes his gifts and even more excited to walk around in the snow w/ him all bundled up...AWWW there will be lots of hot cocoa and warmth and christmas joy...god DAMN it-it's the best time of the freaking year...HAHAHA AH! Now I have "It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year" stuck in my head! AND I LOVE IT!!!!!

Ahhhhh...Nikou just put on "Wonderwall"...which is the only Oasis song she has...but I'm not complaining :)

Oh GOD, life is good. I just can't get out of here fast enough to get to va.

:)

Now I'm listening to Sublime...life is lots of fun. Awww...I'm sorry if this is a ridiculous post, but hey-it's MY online journal, not COLLIN'S. ;)

Haha well, tomorrow's the Christmas parade and I'll be selling cookies and hot cocoa right alongside the best of 'em...(mgl, bina, & hilary). HAHA oh man...it's going to be a great weekend...and I know that even finals week will be bearable knowing the excitement that all of my anticipation's going to bring.

Ciao for now!

"...take me to the place where you go
where nobody knows..."

Steph can't read this

2005-11-27T20:51:00.000-05:00

I would like the world to know that I am a MOTHERFUCKER who deserves to DIE.

I would also like the world to know that I am utterly subservient to COLLIN, who has insited that I CAPITALIZE random WORDS, like SO.

Capitalizing RanDoM LetTerS is acceptable AS well.

JOIN me in SERVING Collin. When the entire world is united under his banner, we can rock out to FINAL FANTASY PIANO SOUNDTRACKS!

BYE

SURVEY...AND I'M BACK.

2005-11-23T22:29:00.000-05:00

I'm SO back in Nado it's not even chistoso (funny). Uhm...I'm bored waiting for Charles and Lauren and James to get over here, so I'm stealin' this from Tony's journal...I haven't done one of these in forEVER. Here goes!

In the last 24 hrs have you...
1. Had sex: nope.
2. Bought something: No...and that's a good thing.
4. Sang (what song): "Heaven on Their Minds" from JCS. What a theatre kid.
5. Been kissed: No but gimme another 2 1/2 weeks :) (SO FREAKING HAPPY)
6. Ate something: YES (I just had a stuffed salmon fillet from Henry's)
7. Felt stupid around anyone: Just about ALWAYS...but I'm okay with it, so that's good.
8. Talked to an ex: No...well, Jason Meier's my friend on Facebook. We haven't talked-I have no idea what I would even say. But we're friends and that's good...does that kind of count? Oh-I talked to Erick who's a good friend; we dated in 8th. Oh-and got off the phone a little while ago w/ C-Bell. And just talked to Steve online today. And at about 1 in the morning Rob IMed me...so I guess that's actually all of them minus one.
9. Missed someone: Every day. (Haha Well I would fucking HOPE SO) ;)
_____________________________
Last person who...
1. Slept in your bed: Me + Collin (the bear)
2. Saw you cry: Tracey and Nikou
3. Made you cry: Me.
4. You kissed: Mr. Jeremiah Allen Spaulding. :) *beams*
5. You went to the movies with: Charles, Chip, Jackie, Tracey, Maddie...MIDNIGHT SHOWING OF GHOSBUSTERS WHAT WHAT
_____________________________
Have you Ever...
1. Said I love you and meant it?: Every single day.
2. Got in a fight with your pet: My cat scratched me a long time ago b/c I wouldn't let it look away...what an F-ing dumb thing to do.
3. Been to California: I live here. Take that, lame-ass question. Take it. I dare you.
4. Been to Mexico: TJ twice w/ family + James...ick. I hate TJ. And once to Rosarita Beach b/c we missed the TJ tournoff w/ my family. It's much nicer there, though.
6. Been to the US: Outside of CA, AZ, and some of FL and NJ (I don't really remember the last 2 though) I haven't been anywhere else in the US. BUT I WILL IN ANOTHER 2 1/2 WEEKS!
7. Been to Europe: Yes, + Australia
_____________________________
Random...
1. Do you have a crush on someone: I'm in love. If that doesn't count, then this survey is ridiculous.
2. Do you have a crush on a myspace friend: His name's slegaB65. You should check him out sometime ;)
3. What book are you reading now: "How to be a Villain"-it's one of those like, hero-how to's but waaaay funnier.
4. Worst feeling in the world: knowing that you've hurt someone you love
5. Future kids names: I want about 3 or 4 and I's like to name a girl MJ (yeah, fuck off if you don't like it-it's a good name, and the reference is bitchen.)
6. Do you sleep with a stuffed animal?: Yes-it's a big white teddy bear named Collin.
7. What's under your bed?: CLOTHES, BELTS, SCARVES, PURSES, RANDOM CRAP THAT I NEED TO CLEAN OUT BUT I'M ON BREAK SO I WON'T.
8. Favorite sports to watch: Baseball (I know-boring, right?)
9. Location: At mi casa en 92118
10. Piercing/Tattoos: Ears pierced once on each side. (Well, one hole on each, but I got them pierced twice-once and then soccer season started and I just never put my earrings back in and they closed up. I always hated playing soccer.
11. Favorite Alcoholic Drink: I'm going to be completely honest right now and say I HAVE NO FUCKING CLUE AND HOW THE HELL WOULD I KNOW?!?! I'm sick of all this, "why haven't you drank?" Bull. F college.
12. What are you most scared of right now: Never saying I love you enough to Jer.
13. Where do you want to get laid: Wow...that's a personal question...haha I don't think I'm gonna answer that one. Too bad.
14. Who do you really hate: Girls who can't back the fuck off (that one's for you, Lauren!!!)
16. Do you like being around people: Yes, unless I'm in a mood where I want to be alone.
17. Have you ever liked someone you had no chance with: Hmmmm...I THOUGHT so a few months ago but look how that turned out! LOL
18. Have you ever lied: No...that, that was a lie right there.
19. Are you lonely right now: right this instant? Not a bit! :)
20. Song that's stuck in your head: Give Them What They Want from DRS
21. Played strip poker: Padiddle twice a little while ago is, I believe, the closest I've ever come to strip poker.
22. Been beaten up: Haha no-thank GOD-I'm sure I'm like, the worst fighter EVER.
23. Done an all-nighter: HAHA yeah-packing the night before my college move-in day. That's a good reason to pull one, though.
24. Been on radio/TV: HaHA I don't believe so. Oh no-wait yes in CoSA.
25. Been in a mosh-pit: Uh, well...if Ben Folds and Jason Mraz count...I was in the pit and being smooshed against the stage...but it's not the stereotype so I'm gonna go w/ no.
26. Do you have any gay friends: DONNIE THE BEST GAY LOVER EVER + Eduardo, the gayest MFA student in the world. He sings Parade to me and it makes me very happy. (Oh AND I'm in a member of the "FagHags" group on Facebook...um, so whadda you think?)

Okay so now Charles is here playing mah guitar so I'm gonna head out...

ROCK MY SOCKS OFF THIS WEEKEND. NADO!!!!!

:)

gimme a ring!

:)

Life, Love, Theatre, & MIDTERMS!

2005-11-15T04:20:00.000-05:00

Hey everyone! So, uhm, still lovin' the holidays. Thanksgivin' is what...oh, next week? Can ya dig it? I KNOW I CAN!

WOOOO! So, "Arms and the Man" has been going SUPER well. It's basically draining the life out of me (sat I had a 12 hour rehearsal. Nutzoid.) But it opens on friday, and I hope you guys can come and see it...I think the rep show is going on sometime around now-ish, but the show also extends to next weekend (only performance=the 26th...I know it's the thanksgiving break thing, but eh.) I talked to the beloved Steve-O and he says that he'll be here for thanksgiving break and he wants to come and see it on the 26th and asked, "when's collin and everybody going to see it?" I think he's hoping we could all go together-which would be waaaay awesome. I KNOW you'll all love it-there's this one actor( Scott Drummond ) who has created this insaney melodramatic character out of Shaw's lines. He's absolutely hysterical. (One of my favorite parts of the entire show is: he and the lead-Ryan McCarthy's character, Bluntschli- and his fiance, Raina- get into a coming-out of all of their honest feelings and Scott stands on one of the benches covered with pillows and throws up his arms and yells over-dramatically, "OH, LIFE is a FARSE!" and collapses vertically onto the bench. It's absolutely splendiferous. :)

In other news, today is mine and Jer's official 4-month anniversary. HAPPY 4, SWEETIE! I canNOT wait for a snowy december with him-how much fun!!!! :) AH! I can't wait...less that 4 weeks now...I miss him like crazy and no matter how much I talk to him on the phone or how much I think of him it just can't replace the joy of seeing him or even recalling moments like that. It's absolutely amazing...

I've also got a crazy-ass spanish midterm (a forewarning of the quarter system...you have TWO sets of midterms before finals PER quarter. L-A-M-E.) But yes, my second spanish midterm is tomorrow...and I'm doing an awesome scene (I don't even know if I'm performing tomorrow or on thursday) from a play by Nicky silver called "Raised in Captivity"-It's very Durang-esque and I think a lot of you (if not all of you) would like it. Way nuts.

But yes, life is good. It's busy as all hell, but that's what i'm accustomed to (haha CoSA prepares you well for managing busy schedules later on in life, I suppose.) I miss you all like crazy-I wish I could see the rep show so badly-especially to nicole and collin-you guys are f-in' awesome. Nicole, I hope you're doing well on your coming-to-an-end college applications and collin, thank you for the essay-you're truly an amazing friend.

Time to get some sleep b/c jer'll be calling at about 6 in the morning...it's now 1:36. Hah... maybe the show isn't sucking the life out of me, but perhaps mine own disregard of shut-eye.

Eh. PSH! It's mah life! I'll do what I want!

And with that, I leave you for the morning.

Goodnight/morning, everyone!!!

Have a wonderful day!

GAH! HOLIDAYS!!!! :)

2005-11-06T16:38:00.000-05:00

Hey everyone!

So I'm sitting here listening to the Elf soundtrack, which is jam-packed w/ wonderful classic holiday songs. (Currently listening to Ella Fitzgerald singing "Let It Snow".) So uhm, yes. I've been thinking about the holidays a lot recently...even though Christmas is over a month away-but that's no reason to not shop for presents early or extend the holiday spirit to everyone!!!! I absolutely love it. As soon as I get out of my p.j.s I'm gonna head on over to UTC to look at all of the decorations and probably spend money in like, all the stores. I shouldn't, but I just might. Haha-woooo!!!! shopping self-control! HEY! You know what really annoyes me?!?! The fact that you can't have candles in your dormb/c they're considered a fire hazard. I WANNA BUY A HOLIDAY SCENTED CANDLE FROM LIKE< ILLUMINATIONS TO MAKE MY ROOM SMELL LIKE THE FREAKING HOLIDAYS, GODDAMN IT! RAAARRRRRR. Fine. Whatever, fire nazis. Just, whatever.

I just love that chilly feeling in the air and the warm holiday colors and the decorations and the music...it makes me so happy! I just got back from lunch w/ Maddie (p.s. "Lonely Christmas Eve" just came on by Ben Folds...this song makes me laugh. I <3 The Grinch. Not the movie, but the book.) and Maddie's Jewish and can't STAND the holiday season b/c she feels that she was discluded as a kid-and I totally see where she's coming from. Me and Tracey are like, "what if my mom sends me a tree from Colorado? Would you sit under it with us?" and I was like, "Can I still get you a Christmas present?" and (no beat) she's like, "Yes. That's completely acceptable." I was like, "Would you open your present with us under the little tree???" and she said yeah, so we're trying. Lol-not that we're trying to sway her, but she literally hates the holiday season (bah humbug).

I LOVE IT-we were also talking about how weird it is that we get accustumed to our lives here at the college and then we go home for a month and go back to our old lives...it's just a weird concept. Trace was like, "we're all going home for a month to our lives and everything is completely different, and then coming back here together agaiin." It really might not sound that weird, but it totally is. Hm. But I can't wait to see all of you-no joke. Playing D&D-will and steve will both be back-we'll all be back together again! We can watch disney & lost over at nicole's, collin & charles, & I can have cooking adventures...we can all go ice skating at horton...I can't wait to be back for almost a whole month to spend with all of you again! But I guess that goes w/o saying. :) Tony'll be back and we can make horrible jokes together and Aly and I can go on our lucky shopping adventures togther. AWWWWW-I can't wait already!

Plus I see Jer for a freaking week out there (lol and probably Andrew Hernandez too!!!)...it's going to be a wonderful winter break. I JUST CAN'T WAIT TO SEE EVERYONE!

:) :) :)

I'm so happy right now! Gah! okay! time to get out there and go to the mall to just absorb it all. I love the holidays.

:)

P.S. If you guys have any xmas wishes that aren't too astronomically expensive or something, lemme know.

P.P.S. From nicole,...I want her hot sexy red hair. Lol-miss you, love.

HAPPY HOLIDAYS ALMOST 2 MONTHS IN ADVAAAAANCE!

:)

Hey hey I'm procrastinating my Soc. homework...lalalaaaaaa...

2005-10-31T00:41:00.000-05:00

Hey everybody! I saw this on Tony's blog and decided-ya know? I'm lame and I hate soc. so I'm gonna do this real quick-I'm not expecting comments unless a really ridiculously embarrassing song comes up or something-or unless a song that's listed on here ends up unlockling some deep-seeded childhood memory or...I dunno, something. Here we go!

The Rules:
1. Open up the music player on your computer.
2. Set it to play your entire music collection.
3. Hit the shuffle command.
4. Tell us the title of the next twenty songs that show up (with their musicians), no matter how embarrassing. That's right, no skipping that Carpenters tune that will totally destroy your hip credibility. It's time for total musical honesty.
5. If you get the same artist twice, you may skip the second (or third, or etc.) occurrences. You don't have to, but since randomness could mean you end up with a list of ten songs with five artists, you can if you'd like.

1.) Parachutes-Coldplay
2.) Burndt Jamb-Weezer
3.) My Style (ft. Justin Timberlake)-Black Eyed Peas
4.) A Thousand Years-Sting
5.) Tiny Dancer (cover)-Ben Folds
6.) Back for Good-Take That (HAHAHA the first embarrassing boy band song has arrived.)
7.) The Marriage of Figaro-Mozart
8.) The Weight-The Band (I doubt anyone who reads this knows this song. An oldie but a goodie)
9.) Disease-Matchbox 20
10.) The Perfect Fan-Backstreet Boys (...There's two...)
11.) Can't Take My Eyes Off of You-Frankie Valli and the Four Seasons
12.) Sometimes-Nine Days (This is the band who sang "Story of a Girl" all those years ago...this is pop, but it's not as bad as Backstreet Boys or Take That)
13.) Red Hill Mining Town-U2 (I'm proud of this one)
14.) Heaven-Eiffel 65 (...uhhhhhhh...)
15.) Shadows in a Mirror-Chris Issak
16.) Thanks a Lot-Third Eye Blind
17.) Tempted-Squeeze (Thank GOD, something uber 80s)
18.) Aqueous Transition-Incubus
19.) Baby Got Back-Sir Mix-A-Lot (uhhh...laughing a lot right now. yessir. glad this made it on the list.)
20.) Growing On Me-The Darkness (what a good song to end with...this is happy.)

So uhm, super surprised that a lot more 80s music didn't show up.NOT surprised that Backstreet Boys, Eiffel 65, Nine Days, and Take That showed up. Uhm...yeah...I don't actually listen to the pop stuff...if you can believe it...lol which you probably can't. Happy that U2 was on there (off of The Joshua Tree, no less). And I kinda feel like stopping The Darkness to go back and listen to some Chris Isaak whilst I do my Soc. Yeah-this was fun-maybe I'll do this like, monthly or something. Sounds fun. Yes. Ok. Now I'm just stalling-oh and by the way-the song that just came on now after "Growing On Me" was definitely "Finale Ultimo" from Oklahoma!. Just thought I'd share an embarrassing library tidbit. And Danger! High Voltage was after that. HAHAHA I love my freaking diverse music selection. Apparently, I've now got 4252 songs on there. Take it. Just take it.

P.S.!!!!!!!! Had a super fun time w/ C-Dawg this weekend. P.P.S. Went to a midnight showing last night w/ a bunch of people to see (the best movie EVER), Ghostbusters. It was amazing. I'm going on saturday w/ Chip to see "Blue Velvet" (which Chip's already seen)...it's supposed to be a super dimented movie and none of our other friends wanna go see it...huh. Go figure. Haha-it'll be interesting. Ok-functioning on 5 hours of sleep and I'm SO tired. HAHA - dear LORD I was up until 5 this morning. ("Rakuen" just came on...thinking of you, Sweetie. If I can be sentimental for a second, I just keep thinking of us sitting in the living room and you playing this on my guitar and singing along with it and then looking at me when you're playing and then losing the guitar fingering and then being like, "DAMMIT!" and then just us laughing...)

Ah, that memory makes me so happy. Life is so good-it can be so incredibly trying but it's so wonderful.

I can honestly say that the last few months have been the happiest of my life. I can't stop smiling right now-or hardly ever. Thank you. I love you.

OK! I've gotta stop b/c everyone else is reading this like, "Uhm, k, Steph, you're lame, get back to talking about how cold you and your friends were in your stupid halloween costumes last night or how spicy your goddamned curry SHOULD have been" or something like that-hey-y'know what? Pictures should be posted. End of story. :)

P.S. Rose and Riceley and Chelsea painted all the girls in my suite personal little pumpkins...this is Rose holding mine...it's basically awesome. :)

And...here's our favorite suicide girl...

;)

and me & Trace. :)

...The end. Of pictures.

And this post.

(P.S. for the GAGILLIONTH TIME hahaha): The Beatles just came on. I've been listening to them so much lately. Oh WAIT! PICS FROM THE JASON MRAZ CONCERT!!!!

:) :) :)

Happiness is a warm AWESOME JOB AT THE PLAYHOUSE!!!!!

2005-10-25T16:31:00.000-04:00

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Life is so GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD!!!!!!!

So basically, the ucsd grad theatre dept. is amazing. AMAZING. Like JESUS. JesUs CRISTO. Basically. Uhm. Yes.
I guess I need to just sort of start from the beginning (lol or that could just be my whole post.)
Well, to begin, West, my director/teacher is awesome. He just is. My friend Maddie- *LOVE!* and I were cast in his little movie thing that's going to be shot next month, which is just really fun. That was just the beginning.

UCSD's graduate theatre department is third in the nation, right after NYU and Yale. Their directing major dept. only takes 2 directing majors per year-my teacher West was one of them-this is his last year here, and he's now big in the grad dept. Auditioning for his show in Feb (Measure for Measure) is a requirement for the grad acting majors. (I'll get to that show later, though). He shares an office w/ two other grad directors. One is Joe (it is currently his last year) and the other is Jeff (he has one year left). Through going into West's office so much, I met Joe-for some reason almost no techies have been volunteering for any of the three big shows coming up (First: Jeff's "Blood Wedding", then Joe's "Arms and the Man", then West's "Measure for Measure".) - they're DESPERATELY low on tech.

In essence, Maddie and I have been volunteering to help out w/ these shows and getting far. It's absolutely amazing. As freshmen UNDERGRADS we have been placed in charge of all props for Joe's "Arms and the Man"...it's a period WAR show...yeah. Enough said. That opens next month-the most AMAZING thing in the world is that The La Jolla Playhouse in on the campus, like, a 4 minute walk from my dorm. Apparently, because we'll be halping w/ set changes, we get our own costume...our own show PERIOD costume. 3 Days ago I went into the actual La Jolla Playhouse and was MEASURED for a costume that they'll be MAKING for me and then I'll go back to be FITTED in it. THE COSTUME DESIGNERS OF THE LA JOLLA PLAYHOUSE ARE MAKING ME A COSTUME. Yeah. Yeah. Uhm, yes.

For the last 2 weeks or so I've been wanting to be West's PA (personal assistant) for "Measure" and today I FINALLY talked to Lexie (the SM) for that show. She was like, "He doesn't get a PA but *I* do." And I was like, well, uh...I guess..." but then about 5 minutes after I left I was like, "Maddie? I really don't want to be Lexie's PA. If I'm going to do that for anyone, I want it to be West." So I went back into West's office and I was like, "West, this will be the last time I'll come in here for like, a week." and he was like, "No! It's office hours! Come in here whenever!" so I was like, "I really wanted to be your PA and I'm unable to and I'd really only have liked to be your PA...can you tell me any other positions that are open that I could do for your show?" So first he was like, "You know who really also needs help on their show is Jeff (who was sitting right there) and West was like, "Blood Wedding really needs help." And I was like, "Jeff, I'd love to, but I'm doing "Arms and the Man" and I think your performance dates conflict with the tech rehearsals for Joe's show." And Jeff was like, "Damn it! Why didn't I grab you when I met you at Whole Foods last week?!?!" ...it was funny. Anyways, so West started jobs listing jobs like costumes, hair & makeup, lights, spots, etc. and I was like, "if it isn't too much, I'd really like to be in the rehearsal process as much as possible." (Maddie is West's AD (assistant director) for it - she's gonna be flippin' awesome b/c she loves directing and knows what the hell she's doing(!!!!) :) And "I was like, I'd really like to be there as much as possible and then his face lit up and he was like, "Do you know what would be the best thing for me and for the show?" And I was like, "....what?" and he was like, "Sound is HUGE to me and I use it a lot in all of my shows-would you be head sound op?" and I was like, "I'd love to but I've never touched a soundboard in my life, West." And he was like, "Don't worry! We'll teach you everything!" And he got really excited and started mumbling to himself talking about who we could go to to ask about it right then and then he stepped out and then came back in and was like, "Stephanie! Let's go! Come with me!!" (HAHA he's so happily excitable. What an adorable hot gay man he is.) And then as I'm leaving I was like (to Jeff) "I'm really sorry I can't do your show. Is this your last year here?" And he was like, "No, I have another year left". So I was like, "Well, I'd love to work on your stuff in the future!" And he was like, "Oh, awesome!" As I was running out the door. So yeah-basically, I've got an in for next year after West & Joe are gone.

So West takes me upstair to meet one of the grad student sound guys named Michael and West was like, "Hey-remember for "Uncle" we had that sound op from the playhouse work w/ us and do sound all the way through rehearsals?" And Michael was like, "Yeah, but we had to give them overtime and now they'll never do that for us again." And West was like, "Well, here! I'd like you to meet Stephanie-she's willing to do that and operate sound a month and a half through rehearsals without any of the other tech!" And Michael just looked at him and was like..."Are you serious?...West, where did you find her and where can I get five more like her?" HAHA it was funny. Anyways, they totally trust me. And THEN ... here's the kicker-West was like, well, you do KNOW that "Measure" 's gonna be on the main stage at the Playhouse, right? And I almost DIED. DIIIEEEEEED.

I WILL BE IN CHARGE OF SOUND FOR MONTHS IN THE FUCKING LA JOLLA PLAYHOUSE.

Just thought I'd throw that out there. So yeah-then after we left Michael West was like, "Now-this is one of the biggest time dedications and it's one of the most-high stress jobs. Are you sure you want to do this?" And I was like, "West, trust me-I'm ready. You just teach me and I'll do the best I can do with it." And he was like "Okay. You'll probably also be a mediator between me and the sound designers." And I was like AWESOME!!!

But yeah...apparently West uses more sound than any of the other directors and I'll be there in rehearsals at the end of winter break while school hasn't even started again yet. I'll be one of the only techies at any of the rehearsals, and sound for this HUGE show on the Playhouse stage is all on me...Hah-I just hope I don't screw up too much-they know that they'll be teaching me from square one and they still believe in me so much. Seriously, these grad students are so accepting and they're so willing to give us all a chance-it's so amazing. AND Maddie and I are seeing Jason Mraz tomorrow night. Love is perfect, our relationships lives are exactly where we want them, and all of this is going on for us here...seriously, life couldn't get any better.

Life is absolutely beautiful.

Ah la la la la la la life is wonderful
Ah la la la la la la life goes full circle
Ah la la la la la la life is wonderful
Ah la la la la la la life is meaningful
Ah la la la la la la life is wonderful

~Mraz.

If you read this entire thing, props. And thank you.

I'm sorry, Rob...the internet's still here... ;)

2005-10-22T03:37:00.000-04:00

Hey everyone!

This is quite possibly the best and most fun I have EVER had over AIM. Rob, please excuse this, and you probably already want to kill me. I understand those feelings. They may be harsh, but I sympathise....this was worth it, though.

OK! This is a really long conversation that I just had w/ my wonderful friend Rob up at UCD. (Kisses, Rob. Don't hate me) You can figure it out for yourself...I personally suggest reading the entire conversation, myself-it's got some good moments. This is what you get when you're drunk and you IM me. Rob, the internet's still here. Just a reminder.

Enjoy, everyone. P.S. Comment, please :)

stunman007 (11:36:42 PM): wajht;s up
wildhoney40 (11:43:58 PM): haha
wildhoney40 (11:44:03 PM): are you drunk now, rob?
stunman007 (11:44:08 PM): pf cpurse
stunman007 (11:44:11 PM): of cousre
wildhoney40 (11:46:29 PM): hahahaha
wildhoney40 (11:47:11 PM): rob, how's your head feeling?
stunman007 (11:47:17 PM): big
wildhoney40 (11:47:21 PM): hey
wildhoney40 (11:47:25 PM): how drunk are you?
stunman007 (11:47:28 PM): prety
stunman007 (11:47:29 PM): why
wildhoney40 (11:47:31 PM): like, REALLY drunk?
stunman007 (11:47:34 PM): kinda
stunman007 (11:47:36 PM): whyu
stunman007 (11:47:39 PM): are you going to mse with ijme
wildhoney40 (11:47:40 PM): because the internet is shutting dopwn
stunman007 (11:47:46 PM): w3hta wthe fukc
stunman007 (11:47:46 PM): how
stunman007 (11:47:47 PM): whyu
wildhoney40 (11:48:21 PM): didn't you know?
wildhoney40 (11:48:26 PM): there's a huge virus, rob
stunman007 (11:48:29 PM): what ehefujkc
wildhoney40 (11:48:32 PM): they've gotta re-load the internet
stunman007 (11:48:34 PM): ol;m so fuconse
stunman007 (11:48:36 PM): how?!
stunman007 (11:48:37 PM): what thaed
stunman007 (11:48:38 PM): dfcjickm
wildhoney40 (11:48:40 PM): it was all over the news today
stunman007 (11:48:45 PM): efhawt the udcck
wildhoney40 (11:48:55 PM): you have to save all of your documents to a disk or something
wildhoney40 (11:49:13 PM): and ll of your saved favorites pages are going to be erased
wildhoney40 (11:49:35 PM): rob?
wildhoney40 (11:50:14 PM): rob...where are you?
wildhoney40 (11:50:36 PM): ROB
wildhoney40 (11:50:41 PM): THIS IS IMPORTANT
stunman007 (11:50:45 PM): isithe
wildhoney40 (11:50:46 PM): YOU NEED TO KNOW
stunman007 (11:50:46 PM): is this true
wildhoney40 (11:50:50 PM): YES
wildhoney40 (11:50:56 PM): ROB I wouldn't lie about this
wildhoney40 (11:51:06 PM): I don't know what to do w/ my computer
stunman007 (11:51:19 PM): whgat 4ehycuck
stunman007 (11:51:24 PM): it's not on cnn
stunman007 (11:51:28 PM): i thinkj oyiure;' fukc intiwht m
stunman007 (11:51:29 PM): e
wildhoney40 (11:51:37 PM): I SWEAR I'M NOT
stunman007 (11:51:51 PM): http://www.cnn.com/TECH/
wildhoney40 (11:52:04 PM): it's actually just happening
wildhoney40 (11:52:14 PM): the gov is trying to cover it up
stunman007 (11:52:16 PM): what
stunman007 (11:52:17 PM): hwo
wildhoney40 (11:52:19 PM): they don't want to alarm people
wildhoney40 (11:52:50 PM): it'll only be shut down for like, 3 or 4 hours
stunman007 (11:52:54 PM): owhhat thefujck
wildhoney40 (11:53:06 PM): maybe like, 8 at most they said
wildhoney40 (11:53:11 PM): but it should be fine after 8
stunman007 (11:53:13 PM): wehatewioaw
stunman007 (11:53:15 PM): tha;t's insane
stunman007 (11:53:17 PM): when
wildhoney40 (11:53:19 PM): I know!!!!!
wildhoney40 (11:53:26 PM): in like, 2 hours
stunman007 (11:53:35 PM): what ehet
stunman007 (11:53:36 PM): ewhy
stunman007 (11:53:37 PM): whyu
wildhoney40 (11:53:48 PM): they said that it's not a "peak time" for people to be online
stunman007 (11:53:57 PM): whgat botu the other sdie of the globve
stunman007 (11:54:10 PM): twevel horus diferentce
wildhoney40 (11:54:14 PM): they have to deal with it
wildhoney40 (11:54:21 PM): the US is talking them down
stunman007 (11:54:46 PM): io',m sop fuconfsee
stunman007 (11:54:47 PM): d
stunman007 (11:54:50 PM): yopi;re fukcing withn
stunman007 (11:54:50 PM): e
stunman007 (11:54:51 PM): me
wildhoney40 (11:54:54 PM): don't be
wildhoney40 (11:54:55 PM): NO
wildhoney40 (11:54:59 PM): I SWEAR, ROB
wildhoney40 (11:55:13 PM): please believe me?
wildhoney40 (11:55:17 PM): do you believe me?
stunman007 (11:55:23 PM): no
stunman007 (11:55:26 PM): i dcanm;t'
wildhoney40 (11:55:27 PM): PLEASE
stunman007 (11:55:31 PM): ito's implasuabe
wildhoney40 (11:55:32 PM): it's the truth
stunman007 (11:55:35 PM): whatever
stunman007 (11:55:37 PM): 4i';m a badsass
stunman007 (11:55:39 PM): suckafe
stunman007 (11:55:39 PM): r
wildhoney40 (11:55:47 PM): no, it really is the truth
wildhoney40 (11:55:56 PM): I KNOW you're a badass, but it's true
stunman007 (11:56:01 PM): prove it
wildhoney40 (11:56:09 PM): ok
wildhoney40 (11:56:11 PM): hold on a sec
stunman007 (11:56:22 PM): ok
wildhoney40 (11:58:19 PM): it's all right here:
11:58:25 PM: Attempting to directly connect to stunman007.
11:58:27 PM: You are now directly connected to stunman007.
wildhoney40 (11:58:31 PM): Also referred to as "i2" or "The Grid", this new computer technology will be slowly phasing out The Internet over the next several months. More information on "The Grid" can be found in this article from Wired Magazine.
For information on ordering "Internet Mark II" please call your local Internet Service Provider. Tell them you need the "Internet Mark II" upgrade to view the new features of eBaumsworld.
Frequently Asked Questions:

Q. What does this mean to me?
A. This means, in order to view the great content on eBaumsworld.com, you will need to upgrade your current Internet connection through your Internet Service Provider.
Q. Why are you switching over to Internet Mark II?
A. We are making the switch to take advantage of some great new technologies that have recently been made available. Scroll Down for new features
Q. Will I still be able to access your archives through the normal internet?
A. We will be slowly converting our media archives to Internet Mark II formats over a 2 month time span. In this timespan, you will still be able to access our archives through the traditional methods.
stunman007 (11:59:04 PM): what ethe ufck is this
stunman007 (11:59:07 PM): ebaumsworld
stunman007 (11:59:09 PM): that's a gag site
stunman007 (11:59:12 PM): ui;l,m not a fucking itidoet
stunman007 (11:59:14 PM): you fcujkign moron
wildhoney40 (11:59:22 PM): http://www.wired.com/news/technology/0,1282,42230,00.html
wildhoney40 (11:59:35 PM): no
wildhoney40 (11:59:52 PM): this site is for real
wildhoney40 (12:00:02 AM): go to it
stunman007 (12:00:19 AM): this says onoghting about restarteding the itnerhet
wildhoney40 (12:00:25 AM): ebaums world has actual tech new for all of its computer geek readers
wildhoney40 (12:00:33 AM): that's the REASON they're doing it
stunman007 (12:00:42 AM): why
wildhoney40 (12:01:12 AM): because of the new technology
wildhoney40 (12:01:19 AM): they're going to re-install this
wildhoney40 (12:01:26 AM): it's apparently "the next step"
wildhoney40 (12:02:38 AM): "The most nettlesome issues for industry are security and accounting. But unlike the Web, which had security measures tacked on as an afterthought, the Grid is being designed from the ground up as a secure system."
wildhoney40 (12:02:56 AM): for many reasons, they are installing "the Grid"
stunman007 (12:03:44 AM): i;, so fconfucedsxs
wildhoney40 (12:04:00 AM): "In addition to IBM, firms such as Boeing, Philips and Unilever are already taking baby steps toward the Grid."
wildhoney40 (12:04:21 AM): it's not such a difficult concept, rob. it'll be more user-friendly with less viruses
wildhoney40 (12:04:33 AM): I think it's a great idea, personally
stunman007 (12:04:36 AM): wahtws the gribnn
wildhoney40 (12:04:39 AM): it'll be a pain in the ass
stunman007 (12:04:39 AM): grid
wildhoney40 (12:04:49 AM): didn't you read the article???
stunman007 (12:04:53 AM): i foget
wildhoney40 (12:04:54 AM): it's ALL in there, rob
stunman007 (12:04:58 AM): tel me
stunman007 (12:04:59 AM): i cnam't read
wildhoney40 (12:05:06 AM): HAHA it's all in there
wildhoney40 (12:05:10 AM): it's a new system
stunman007 (12:05:18 AM): how
wildhoney40 (12:05:18 AM): it's going to revolutionize the internet
stunman007 (12:05:26 AM): yh0w
stunman007 (12:05:30 AM): tell me how
wildhoney40 (12:05:38 AM): they need to re-start it in order to install it
wildhoney40 (12:05:43 AM): it's more secure
wildhoney40 (12:05:50 AM): I just sent you the exerpt about that, rob
stunman007 (12:05:50 AM): wahtjs' teh link?
wildhoney40 (12:05:59 AM): the link in the article about it
wildhoney40 (12:06:05 AM): is*
wildhoney40 (12:06:12 AM): it's the actualy article
stunman007 (12:06:16 AM): wher eis it
wildhoney40 (12:06:17 AM): read it
wildhoney40 (12:06:24 AM): I'll re-send it to you
stunman007 (12:06:26 AM): ok
stunman007 (12:06:30 AM): i dont;' know hwo to scrtol
wildhoney40 (12:06:47 AM): http://www.wired.com/news/technology/0,1282,42230,00.html
stunman007 (12:07:34 AM): hwo come this arfciles's thre yuears old
stunman007 (12:07:35 AM): ?
stunman007 (12:07:39 AM): forj
stunman007 (12:07:40 AM): foujr
wildhoney40 (12:08:01 AM): they haven't been able to implement it for a long time
stunman007 (12:08:41 AM): but why hnot
stunman007 (12:08:42 AM): now
wildhoney40 (12:09:12 AM): the grid's been worked on for a long time
wildhoney40 (12:09:16 AM): now they're finally doing it
stunman007 (12:09:24 AM): how come nodboys's saying antyhing abotu it
wildhoney40 (12:09:26 AM): and they want it done and familiarized with by the holidays
wildhoney40 (12:09:33 AM): it's finally ready now
wildhoney40 (12:09:40 AM): people can use it foreverything
stunman007 (12:09:44 AM): http://www.turnofftheinternet.com/
stunman007 (12:10:08 AM): http://www.thespeciousreport.com/2002_www_offline.html
stunman007 (12:10:10 AM): it's a rujmor
wildhoney40 (12:10:13 AM): ROB, that's a FAKE site
stunman007 (12:10:15 AM): i foudn it
wildhoney40 (12:10:21 AM): the article I sent you is REAL
stunman007 (12:10:33 AM): youfr face is readl
wildhoney40 (12:11:01 AM): no.
wildhoney40 (12:11:12 AM): this is affecting US, in AMERICA
wildhoney40 (12:11:19 AM): THIS IS NOT A RUMORE.
wildhoney40 (12:11:24 AM): RUUUUUUMOR
wildhoney40 (12:11:28 AM): THIS IS NOT A RUMOR
stunman007 (12:11:34 AM): io', so confused
stunman007 (12:11:38 AM): yoi're; sjut fucking with me ecause i'm drunk
wildhoney40 (12:11:50 AM): Swear I'm not.
stunman007 (12:12:00 AM): are we al oigng to die?
stunman007 (12:12:02 AM): beacuse 'm readyt to die
wildhoney40 (12:12:05 AM): why the hell would I do that, Rob?
wildhoney40 (12:12:11 AM): no, we're not all going to die
wildhoney40 (12:12:17 AM): it's just a temporary shut down
stunman007 (12:12:44 AM): yupoir;'e fucking with me
wildhoney40 (12:12:44 AM): don't worry
wildhoney40 (12:12:48 AM): you're perfectly safe
wildhoney40 (12:12:56 AM): no, I'm not.
wildhoney40 (12:13:00 AM): I'm dead serious
stunman007 (12:13:01 AM): what if nucelaren missles go off
wildhoney40 (12:13:10 AM): I'm doing ANYTHING but fucking with you
stunman007 (12:13:26 AM): when is it goinh thot happen?
wildhoney40 (12:13:28 AM): don't worry-the government had control of that, the world is in on this, Rob
stunman007 (12:13:39 AM): hwo do you know baioyut it thenm
stunman007 (12:13:40 AM): ?
stunman007 (12:13:41 AM): /
wildhoney40 (12:13:52 AM): no one is going to bomb anyone else...unless there is a terrorist attack
wildhoney40 (12:14:05 AM): I lived on Coronado-major military town
stunman007 (12:14:16 AM): yo'ire ful of it now
wildhoney40 (12:14:31 AM): YOU DON'T BELIEVE ME ABOUT CORONADO?!?!?!
stunman007 (12:14:36 AM): no
stunman007 (12:14:37 AM): i believe you
wildhoney40 (12:14:40 AM): There's a huge base on coronado island
stunman007 (12:14:43 AM): but i don't htink thaty's how you got your info
stunman007 (12:14:48 AM): youi're lying to me
wildhoney40 (12:14:49 AM): IT IS
stunman007 (12:14:49 AM): i can tel
stunman007 (12:14:51 AM): io'm a fucking badas
wildhoney40 (12:14:52 AM): no
stunman007 (12:14:53 AM): who then
wildhoney40 (12:14:57 AM): My mom's boyfriend
stunman007 (12:15:06 AM): what's his name and rankl
stunman007 (12:15:29 AM): and why woydl you be teling me governmemtn secerets
wildhoney40 (12:15:33 AM): he's an executive commander
stunman007 (12:15:33 AM): that's treasaon
stunman007 (12:15:38 AM): and you coujldj b excecuted
stunman007 (12:15:40 AM): oh bulshit
wildhoney40 (12:15:42 AM): it isn't treason
wildhoney40 (12:15:53 AM): how the hell would I know what treason is?!?!?!
wildhoney40 (12:16:03 AM): AM I GOING TO GET IN TROUBLE FOR THIS?
wildhoney40 (12:16:05 AM): ROB
wildhoney40 (12:16:14 AM): promise me you won't tell anyone about this conversation
wildhoney40 (12:16:17 AM): PROMISE ME
stunman007 (12:16:19 AM): if its a secretn then yoi'll be gasse tog death
wildhoney40 (12:16:22 AM): oh my god
wildhoney40 (12:16:26 AM): NO
wildhoney40 (12:16:28 AM): ROB
stunman007 (12:16:32 AM): now yopir fcjuking with
wildhoney40 (12:16:32 AM): I CAN'T GO TO JAIL
stunman007 (12:16:33 AM): em
wildhoney40 (12:16:38 AM): no
wildhoney40 (12:16:40 AM): holy shit
wildhoney40 (12:16:49 AM): I didn't even think about it being illegal to tell you
stunman007 (12:17:33 AM): hatewver
wildhoney40 (12:17:39 AM): NO
wildhoney40 (12:17:42 AM): PROMISE ME
wildhoney40 (12:17:57 AM): please?
wildhoney40 (12:18:08 AM): this is incredibly serious
stunman007 (12:18:12 AM): i ebt
wildhoney40 (12:18:18 AM): no, please
stunman007 (12:18:27 AM): i havenm;'t
wildhoney40 (12:18:28 AM): If you tell and I go to jail you will have ruined my life
stunman007 (12:18:29 AM): calm down
wildhoney40 (12:18:34 AM): PROMISE
stunman007 (12:18:35 AM): why dinm't you answer youfp hoen
stunman007 (12:18:37 AM): phen
stunman007 (12:18:38 AM): phone
wildhoney40 (12:18:40 AM): my phone?
wildhoney40 (12:18:46 AM): I gave it to my friend
stunman007 (12:18:50 AM): uh hu
wildhoney40 (12:18:56 AM): she went out to a party and doesn't have a phone
wildhoney40 (12:19:00 AM): I told her to take mine
stunman007 (12:19:03 AM): hwateve
stunman007 (12:19:07 AM): youi're fucking lying to me agian
stunman007 (12:19:15 AM): i'm, a fucknig badas and know shit
wildhoney40 (12:19:18 AM): I'M NOT
wildhoney40 (12:19:30 AM): I PROMISE YOU
wildhoney40 (12:19:34 AM): PLEASE
wildhoney40 (12:19:39 AM): just promise me, ok?
stunman007 (12:20:01 AM): fo rhowl ong
wildhoney40 (12:20:16 AM): what?
wildhoney40 (12:20:19 AM): type that again
wildhoney40 (12:20:39 AM): I just want you to promise that you won't tell anyone that I'm the one who told you
wildhoney40 (12:21:42 AM): PLEASE?
wildhoney40 (12:21:44 AM): ROB!
wildhoney40 (12:21:49 AM): I need you to promise me
wildhoney40 (12:21:53 AM): I can't go to jail
wildhoney40 (12:22:16 AM): ROB THIS IS SERIOUS
wildhoney40 (12:22:23 AM): just promise me and I'll drop it
wildhoney40 (12:23:31 AM): Rob, I'm begging you
wildhoney40 (12:23:37 AM): this is SERIOUS
wildhoney40 (12:23:47 AM): can I really go to jail for this conversation?!?!
wildhoney40 (12:27:21 AM): Rob...?
wildhoney40 (12:27:26 AM): please answer me
stunman007 (12:27:27 AM): tyeahj
stunman007 (12:27:28 AM): io;, here
stunman007 (12:27:34 AM): they'r enot hsotihng donwt eh tinerhetnt
wildhoney40 (12:27:35 AM): where did you go?
wildhoney40 (12:27:43 AM): I need you to promise me
wildhoney40 (12:28:02 AM): just promise me you won't tell
wildhoney40 (12:28:07 AM): that's all I want
stunman007 (12:28:16 AM): oik
wildhoney40 (12:28:29 AM): HERE
wildhoney40 (12:28:34 AM): I have the official page
stunman007 (12:28:38 AM): ok
wildhoney40 (12:28:40 AM): just...promise me?
stunman007 (12:28:43 AM): ok
wildhoney40 (12:28:44 AM): PLEASE?
stunman007 (12:28:45 AM): oi
wildhoney40 (12:28:49 AM): http://www.epolitico.com/shutdown.html
stunman007 (12:29:07 AM): this isnj't a real govenremtnit site
stunman007 (12:29:31 AM): http://www.dod.gov/
wildhoney40 (12:29:32 AM): it is
stunman007 (12:29:36 AM): no it';s ntop
stunman007 (12:29:55 AM): http://www.epolitico.com/
wildhoney40 (12:29:56 AM): yes, it is.
stunman007 (12:29:57 AM): this site a joke
wildhoney40 (12:31:02 AM): Ok, rob-
wildhoney40 (12:31:15 AM): I'm going to tell you the god-honest truth.
stunman007 (12:31:27 AM): ok
wildhoney40 (12:32:51 AM): The internet is not actually going to be shut down at this time. They're going to shut it down in the next year for "The Grid", but not tonight.

...and I'm Elvis Presley.
wildhoney40 (12:33:01 AM): YOU JUST GOT PUNK'D!!!!!!!!
stunman007 (12:33:13 AM): um yoi're sutpeid
stunman007 (12:33:19 AM): because i knew you were ful of shit
wildhoney40 (12:33:26 AM): ok
wildhoney40 (12:33:33 AM): "Are we all going to die?"
wildhoney40 (12:33:36 AM): HAHAHAHAHAHA
stunman007 (12:33:43 AM): i uwas testing your reactions
wildhoney40 (12:33:46 AM): you're funny, rob
wildhoney40 (12:33:52 AM): just admit it
stunman007 (12:33:54 AM): no seiruslyi i was
stunman007 (12:34:00 AM): i dindm't buy it for a second
wildhoney40 (12:34:14 AM): you wouldn't have talked about it if you didn't know for sure
stunman007 (12:34:20 AM): uh hu
wildhoney40 (12:34:25 AM): it's ok
stunman007 (12:34:30 AM): yopire reatrardd
wildhoney40 (12:34:37 AM): k, rob. ;-)
wildhoney40 (12:36:17 AM): have a good night...don't be surprised if this shows up on the internet anywhere...haha...*if* it's not shut down
wildhoney40 (12:36:19 AM): ;-)
wildhoney40 (12:36:22 AM): g'night, badass
12:36:28 AM: You are no longer directly connected to stunman007.

I'd like to thank Steve, Jer, and Maddie-I couldn't have done it without all of you. HAHAHAHAHA

Once again, Rob, please don't kill me. Thanks for letting me mess w/ you like that-it was fun.

g'night, everyone :)

p.s.; Maddie: "Shit, Steph-Remind me to never talk to you when I'M drunk."

;)

I <3 college.

a la la la laalala life is wonderful...

2005-10-16T04:22:00.000-04:00

Hey. What up? Uhm, life's awesome.

CONGRATS TO EVERYONE IN THE GOOD DOCTOR! It was really funny and there was a crapload of memorization on everyone's part. (Jesus, Collin-you made me laugh SO HARD in like, every scene.) You were all freaking amazing!!!!!!!! Gah! Yeah...lol.
..sorry we were a little late...Aly's friend apparently stepped in a pumpkin while wearing a leg brace. Haha-I'm a little lost but it's cool. So yeah-if any of you guys end up going to ucsd, join my "I've Been Slimed: The Bill Murray Appreciation Society" club that I just started today on facebook. It's basically awesome :)

A shout-out to charles for actually reading my last post and commenting-I'm surprised you read it at all b/c I hadn't updated in like, 2 weeks. Yay! But yeah-now that I have my new computer I'll be able to actually update like I said I was going to try and do. Flippin' sweet if you ask me.

There's not too much going on except that I'm helping with TWO of the grad student productions in the next couple months. Uhm, feelin' cool? Come and see 'em. The first one's next month ("Arms and the Man"...I believe it's by Shaw.) Basically, Maddie and myself (Maddie...lol...she's awesome-she's in the adjoining suite and I love her...also a freshman theatre major.) got way into the Grad student shows and we're feeling so hooked-up w/ connections right now it's not even funny. It really isn't-it's too amazing to be funny. ("You're laughing, I'm not laughing.")

So that's basically it in my life. W3RD. And P.S. 3 months already (I love you, Sweetie.) But seriously- How does time pass by so quickly? Groucho Marx once said "Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana." I never *truly* understood that. Well, I do, but it's true and absurd. I dunno-but it's from the bestest Marx brother. Now I'm just sort of ranting. Ponder it, though. Do it. I dare you.

P.S. "Gold Digger" 's been stuck in my head all day. Just thought I'd share.

P.P.S. I'm seeing Jason Mraz at SOMA on the 26th-it's gonna be an awesome show and they might still have tickets in case anyone's interested. It's gonna be bitchen. That's right, bitchen.

P.P.P.S. It was awesome seeing everyone at the show tonight. I REALLY miss you all...why don't you all just come live with me? Is that so much to ask?? Haha. I love you guys. Ciao, bellos.

P.P.P.P.S. Coolest people ever? Prob'ly. :)

2005-10-12T09:35:00.000-04:00

Plane
Jason Mraz

Drain the veins in my head
Clean out the reds in my eyes to get by security lines
Dear x-ray machine
Pretend you don't know me so well
I wont tell if you lied
Cry, cause your droughts been brought up
Drinkin' cause you're lookin so good in your starbucks cup
I complain for the company that I keep
The windows for sleeping rearrange
When I'm nobody
Well who's laughin now

I'm leaving your town, again
And I'm over the ground that you've been spinning
And I'm up in the air so baby hell yeah
Well honey I can see your house from here
If the plane goes down, damn
I'll remember where the love was found
If the plane goes down, damn

Damn, I should be so lucky
Even only 24 hours under your touch
You know I need you so much
I cannot wait to call you
And tell you that I landed somewhere
And hand you a square of the airport
And walk you through the maze of the map
That I'm gazing at
Gracefully unnamed and feeling guilty for the luck
And the look that you gave me
You make me somebody
Oh nobody knows me
Not even me can see it, yet I bet I'm

I'm leaving your town again
And I'm over the ground that you've been spinning
And I'm up in the air, so baby hell yeah
Oh honey I can see your house from here
If the plane goes down, damn
I'll remember where the love was found
If the plane goes down, damn

You keep me high minded
You get me high

Flax seeds, well they tear me open
And supposedly you can crawl right through me
Taste these teeth please
And undress me from the sweaters better hurry
Cause I'm keeping upward bound now
Oh maybe I'll build my house on your cloud
Here I'm tumbling for you
Stumbling through the work that I have to do
Don't mean to harm you

By leaving your town again
But I'm over the quilt that you've been spinning
But I'm up in the air, said baby hell yeah
Oh honey I can see your house from here
If the plane goes down, damn
I'll remember where the love was found
If the plane goes down, damn
I'll remember where the love was found
If the plane goes down, damn
I'll remember where the love was found
If the plane goes down, damn
Damn
Damn
Damn

You keep me high
You keep me high minded
You keep me high
You keep me high minded

...until december...

Yes and the morning has me looking in your eyes and seeing mine...

2005-09-17T11:30:00.000-04:00

Moving today...big news. And even bigger? For the first time in my life-and NOT EVEN ON PURPOSE, I pulled an all-nighter. Not ONE wink of sleep. I'm okay now, but it's only, like, 8:35 in the morning. And moving's a big deal. And I know Nikou and she'll be like, "come on! Let's go places!!!!" BLEGH. Anywho, we're leaving right now to meet Charles for breakfast before we get movin'. Hmmmm...I hung out w/ James and Chris last night and it was really fun-I missed those boys. Life goes by so quickly sometimes...not to get nostalgic or anything, but at the same time it really is true. I'm sorry that this post can't be longer-we've seriously gotta run. In any case, I'm trying to vow to myself to post on as close to a daily basis as I can so you guys can know what the hell's going on w/ me (20 minutes away)-lol. But yeah...I'm not sure what cable's I'll need or what not so I'm not exactly sure when I'll be on again. But I'll be on soon. Someday. I promise. I love you all SO MUCH-please come and visit. Promise you will?

This song is in the greatest movie of all time (The Royal Tenenbaums) and it never really affected me until now. I hope you like them-they're not really emo, just introspective. Hope they reflect my thoughts well and I'll miss the random house stop-bys. C-Bell, we're gonna miss you today.

Artist: Nico
LyricsSong: The Fairest Of The Seasons

Now that it's time
Now that the hour hand has landed at the end
Now that it's real
Now that the dreams have given all they had to lend
I want to know do I stay or do I go
And maybe try another time
And do I really have a hand in my forgetting ?
Now that I've tried
Now that I've finally found that this is not the way,
Now that I turn
Now that I feel it's time to spend the night away
I want to know do I stay or do I go
And maybe finally split the rhyme
And do I really understand the undernetting ?
Yes and the morning has me looking in your eyes and seeing mine
Warning me
To read the signs carefully.
Now that it's light
Now that the candle's falling smaller in my mind
Now that it's here
Now that I'm almost not so very far behind
I want to know do I stay or do I go
And maybe follow another sign
And do I really have a song that I can ride on ?
Now that I can
Now that it's easy, ever easy all around.
Now that I'm here
Now that I'm falling to the sunlights and a song
I want to know do I stay or do I go
And do I have to do just one
And can I choose again if I should lose the reason ?
Yes, and the morningHas me looking in your eyes and seeing mine
Warning me
To read the signs more carefully.
Now that I smile,
Now that I'm laughing even deeper inside.
Now that I see,
Now that I finally found the one thing I denied
It's now I know do I stay or do I go
And it is finally I decide
That I'll be leavingIn the fairest of the seasons.

Uhhhhh...death and suspense, anyone?

2005-09-08T19:20:00.000-04:00

Hey! This is an edit!
So I told Nicole I was going to do this a long time ago, but whatev. I felt like doing this tonight, so cool. This is the Stephanie mix as of 12:11 am on Friday, Sept. 9(?). In any case-here's what I'm listening to right now (you all know me and my mixes...yeesh.)
If you like to download or go on iTunes or whatever, I hope you like these-they're quite good and happy. I am in a wonderous mood! :)

1.) Save it for Later-English Beat
2.) Dance Hall Days-Wang Chung
3.) Train in Vain-The Clash
4.) Roll to Me- Del Amitri
5.) Can't Take My Eyes Off of You-Frankie Valli
6.) Just Can't et Enough-Depeche Mode (yeah, this song kicks ass-what?)
7.) On Love, In Sadness-Jason Mraz (this is not a sad song.)
8.) Rusty Cage-Johnny Cash
9.) A Praise Chorus-Jimmy Eat World
10.) Boys of Summer-Don Henley
11.) To Zion-Lauryn Hill
12.) Roxanne-The Police
13.) It's Not Unusual-Tom Jones(DANCE LIKE CARLTON!)
14.) Heaven's Light (Hellfire)-The Hunchback of Notre Dame (soundtrack). Don't even start with me on this one.
15.) Hotel Yorba-The White Stripes
16.) All Along the Watchtower (Live)-U2 (take this, world.)
17.) I Think We're Alone Now-Tiffany
18.) Joy to the World-Three Dog Night (Yes, Jeremiah was a bullfrog.)
19.) Ana Ng-They Might be Giants (this is my favorite song of theirs.)
20.) My Girl-The Temptations
21.) If I Ever Lose My Faith in You-Sting

And a special shout-out to Jer...

CONGRATS ON THE ROLE, SWEETIE!!!!!!

ok...now on to the original post.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Just got done watching Vertigo-that movie is so f-ing...no, I'll just say it-that movie is so fucking depressing. Jesus christ. The last like, 5 minutes are so intense and they make me want to jump off of a spanish bell tower. Jesus-I don't know if any of you have seen it and I love that movie but I hadn't seen it in 2 years and I had forgotten how suicidal it makes the audience feel. Jesus. In any case, Jimmy Stewart is amazing in it and Kim Novak's darned good. Personal take=the chemistry is not that of Cary Grant & Eva Marie Saint's in North by Northwest, but then again-hey-what is?
I kind of really want to hold a Hitchcock movie marathon/party...damn. Well, maybe someday soon.
In other news today, Aly just called me and was like, "hey-if I pick you up in 45 minutes can you go shopping with me??" And I was like, "uhh...sure!" So that's way cool-I haven't been able to hang out w/ Aly in SUCH a long time.
Hmmmm...life is good! Uhm...I need to start packing my stuff and sorting through all of my crap still...? I need to go and deposit those checks like NOW. So...maybe I'll go and do that. GOD DAMN I want to watch more Hitchcock! I feel like watching Rear Window but I don't haaaaave that oooooone.....graaaaah! Well, maybe I'll buy it tonight. If anyone wants to borrow
Vertigo
North by Northwest
Strangers on a Train
Dial M for Murder
or
The Lady Vanishes,
you are more than welcome to. I severely do NOT recommend watching Lifeboat. The only awesome part is Hitchcock's appearance. Oh! Another one that I recommend is The Trouble with Harry-it's a dark comedy which is quite funny and out of left field for him. (I never honestly unserstood that expression-I always played that position and I loved it. Hm. Go figure, eh?) Why am I ranting about this??? LOL none of you care, but if you ever want to talk Hitchcock, please let me know. By all means-please.
OK! Time to listen to some Ben Lee (..."my head is a box filled with nothing and that's the way I like it"-LOL) and get changed to go out w/ Aly boo. Wait! Deposit checks first...I seriously need to remind myself of things I need to do sometimes. I get distracted far too easily sometimes. Yes.

AUGH! I LOVE YOU!

Ok-time to ir al banco. (Yeah, I know-time to to go to the bank. I got the grammatical Spanglish error. Yeah, thanks.) Haha-Ok-catch you guys later. W3RD. COLLIN'S MOM, HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!!

Scottie: You shouldn't keep souvenirs of a killing! You shouldn't-you shouldn't have been that sentimental!

"...Umm, is that a fat guy on a bike?"

2005-09-05T04:23:00.001-04:00

So, uhm, it's most definitely time for an update. Yes, most definitely.

Haha-except that I really don't have too much to update on. So there we go! Well, I've been listening to a lot of Bob Dylan and Ben Lee lately...? Uhm, my job ends in a week (I'm not working this week from mon-fri), I'm in the process of planning uh, some espionage...stuff (if you don't know then you're not a spy. Obviously.) My plans for tomorrow? Enjoying a well-deserved day off hanging out with Donny, Nicole, Tony, and probably Emily...I kinda want to go to the beach b/c what was almost my entire summer was spent inside of the Coronado Starbucks...augh. G-ross.
I just now realized that I was supposed to call the boys about an rpg at Eric's house. I'm sorry, boys-Nicole and Donny were waiting for me AT my work because they knew exactly when I'd be off. I guess they just got there (not first b/c you were there earlier, but) at the right time. I also was supposed to call uh...my spy partner. Sorry, C-Bell. God DAMN, this entry is pointless. Haha. Well....uh......I'm trying to decide whether or not to watch Vertigo right now or go to sleep b/c Jer (I love you, Sweetie....hope you're sleeping well right now b/c it's oh, I'd say only about 4:30 in the F-ing morning where you are) is going to call at like, 6:30 in the morning...but while he's in class I can sleep...hmmmmmm...dunno. I guess I'll decide my plans when I'm done with this waste of time-HAH-sorry to everyone who's readin' this.

Okay-so this is the song I'm listening to right now-it's freaking awesome-this song is, well,...definitely picturesque of the true Bob Dylan lyricism. But then again, I've heard an account that he doesn't really know what the hell he's writing about sometimes and it just comes to him, so you never know. These don't pertain to my life or really, anyone I know. Which I'd say is good. Most definitely. And if you're familiar with the song, a thousand "You're a walking library of song lyrics" points to you. (HAHA just to make this entry even MORE interesting I'll put up some lyrics that I know you'll want to take the time to read through. )

Enjoy!

Like a Rolling Stone
by Bob Dylan

Once upon a time you dressed so fine
You threw the bums a dime in your prime, didn't you?
People'd call, say, "Beware, Doll, you're bound to fall"
You used to laugh about
That everybody was hangin' out
Now you don't talk so proud
Now you don't seem so proud
About having to be scrounging for your next meal

How does it feel?
How does it feel?
To be without a home
Like a complete unknown
Like a rolling stone?

You've gone to the finest school all right, Miss Lonely
But you know you only used to get juiced in it
And nobody has ever taught you how to live on the street
And now you find out you're gonna have to get used to it
You said you'd never compromise
With the mystery tramp, but now you realize
He's now selling any alibis
And you stare into the vacuum of his eyes
And ask him do you want to make a deal?

How does it feel?
How does it feel?
To be on your own
With no direction home
Like a complete unknown
Like a rolling stone?

You never turned around to see the frowns
On the jugglers and the clowns
When they all come down and did tricks for you
You never understood that it ain't no good
You shouldn't let other people get their kicks for you
You used to ride on the chrome horse with your diplomat
Who carried on his shoulder a Siamese cat
Ain't it hard when you discover that
He really wasn't where it's at
After he took from you everything he could steal

How does it feel?
How does it feel?
To be on your own
With no direction home
Like a rolling stone?

Princess on the steeple and all the pretty people
They're drinkin', thinkin' that they got it made
Exchanging all kinds of precious gifts and things
But you'd better lift your diamond ring
You'd better pawn it babe
You used to be so amused
At Napoleon in rags and the language that he used
Go to him now, he calls you, you can't refuse
When you got nothing you got nothing to lose
You're invisible now, you got no secrets to conceal

How does it feel?
How does it feel?
To be on your own
With no direction home
Like a rolling stone?

Uhm, so I basically realized that even though the song doesn't sound depressing, it sort of is. So, I'll end with a funny story. At work we try not to break 100s b/c we don't keep 20s in out registers-therefore, we supply change with 5s and 1s...occasionally 10s...point being, anything over a 20 is typically a pain in the ass. We need to get more change out, set the safe, etc., etc. So today I'm in the back for some reason or another, and just as background, there are two gay guys who work there. One is the 17 year-old George, not really a diva, but a lot of fun. The other is our second manager, Dylan, who reminds me of Kirk but with class and manners. Yes, try to imagine it...-don't strain yourself. Dylan is, almost always, composed and very responsible (I know it doesn't sound like our Kirkums, but you'll see why in a minute...). SO!
George comes in and puts his hands up, seeming frenzied and says to Dylan, "Dylan, I need change because this woman out there doesn't have ANYTHING else but a hundred!" And Dylan just looks at him very calmly and says, "Okay, break it-give her change and as many ones as you have in your drawer." I laughed so hard-haha you'd be surprised at how disgruntled Starbucks employees are...hah-then again, you would have no reason to be b/c you can probably see it all over almost all of their faces.

That's about here-g'night. Or g'mornin'. It's like, 1:30. Check it. One two.

Happy Hunting, Sweetie...

2005-08-31T05:05:00.000-04:00

I love you more than any man has loved before
I love you more than all the stars up in the sky
I think that we should settle down
And live happily for ever after
What do you think of that...?

~Ben Folds

"The universe is brought back from the brink of destruction
Every time you smile."

~Ben Lee

Happy hunting, baby.

"Dream it, you fuckin' Dreamers"

2005-08-05T02:48:00.000-04:00

Hmmmmmmm...thinking. Well, to begin with, I'm listening to Songs for Silverman-which was what I was listening to on June 9th-seriously, soundtrack to my life. Heh. I dunno. It's good thinking music, which is good if you're feeling introspective (except for the new version of "Give Judy My Notice". I hate the new version.) I'v been feeling introspective a lot lately-lol-for those of you who couldn't tell. And if you couldn't tell, wtfn? Heh-sorry. Trying to cheer myself. If ya don't get that last joke, you clearly missed an awesome session of Steve's pirates campaign. Anywho, I dunno. Oh yes. Being introspective. Maybe this is an entry best suited for a different online journal de mi, but it shouldn't be too bad. I was at Nicole's party tonight (which was way cool, btw) and sometimes, I notice, I feel detatched. I don't mean to-I just start thinking-and before you know it, I'm lost in my thoughts and memories and everything else I keep stored up there. I talked w/ Rob today for about a half an hour which was really cool-it made me realize just how crazy life really is. Then we talked online and he gave some amazing words. Here's the snippet that I want everyone to remember:

stunman007: juuuuust checking
stunman007: so what else is new?
wildhoney40: I dunno
wildhoney40: do you ever feel like life is unfair?
wildhoney40: I know that you're philosophical...
stunman007: always
stunman007: that's why it's called life
stunman007: haha
wildhoney40: heh
wildhoney40: yeah, I guess
wildhoney40: that seems to be everyone's reaction when I ask them that
stunman007: meh
stunman007: as long as we have a dream,
stunman007: what is fair and what is unfair don't matter
stunman007: because we're always going for a dream
wildhoney40: yes-but when that dream is attained for a short time and then becomes unattainable again-it hurts
wildhoney40: and it makes things very sad
stunman007: dreams don't die
stunman007: they're always here and there
stunman007: we just have distractions along the way
wildhoney40: that's so true. thanks, rob. -do you think it's possible to keep a dream alive forever?
stunman007: sure
stunman007: why not?
wildhoney40: oh jesus, rob. I feel like such a little kid
wildhoney40: I dunno
stunman007: haha
stunman007: meh
wildhoney40: oh well
wildhoney40: haha such is life
stunman007: exactly

But it made me think-and gave me hope about a lot of things. I was talking to Jer about this concept last night-it'll take a second to get to it though. Be patient. Por favor. Sometimes (like just a few minutes ago) I thought of where I was exactly at this time a week ago. And then two weeks ago. And it made me so sad to know that that's no longer here and that I don't know what's going to happen and that no one ever does and that life is just crazy and unfair but so worth every second. And whenever I get (ick. the new rendition of "Give Judy" just came on. Ahhhhhh "Late". That's much better.) those moments, I realize that there are still years ahead. And it seems like if one keeps dreaming, then a dream never actually dies and one should really look more towards the future than whatever happened in the past (although those times can be wonderful to look back on-after all, your past experiences make you what and who you are). Basically, just hoping for the best and keeping your goals and emotions and dreams intact are really all one needs to maintain the happiness that they are searching for. Maybe I just sound like an idealist, but hey-where the fuck would the world be if there weren't any? Riddle me *that*, Batman! As I was typing this, I thought of some Oasis lyrics. I know you're all sick of reading lyrics off of my journals, but if they bug you, don't read 'em. There's almost always relevance to every song on here. Jesus christ. reading them now-they're damn close to home. Check 'em out.

I'm at the crossroads waiting for a sign
My life is standing still, but I'm still alive
Every night I think I know
In the morning where did he go
The answers disappear when I open my eyes
I'm no stranger to this place
Where real life and dreams collide
And even though I fall from grace
I will keep the dream alive

So...there you go. Hah-I have no idea how long this entry is now. I've sort of just been typing. Sorry if you're reading this. Lyrics, rants, philosophy, conversations...lots of stuff. All of this has just been really important to me lately-haha I dunno if I can say the same for all of you. But life and the future have really been on my mind. Sometimes I wish that I could just fast forward my life by about 8 years-to be settled down, to hopefully be where I want to be at the point in my life that I want to be at now. If that made any sense to people. I want to live my life how I hope it will be then. There we go. But I know that the next few years of college and what not will be major and that's exciting. Yeah, it's exciting. I'm sort of talking myself into that now. How lame is that. Talking yourself into something online. That's pretty damn weak-sauce. Lol-I guess the key is to just keep the ideals in mind and to look on them as frequently as possible. Okay. I guess I'm done. To quote Dane and his new cd, "Dream it, you fuckin' dreamers." Lol-so here's another picture, another true I love you, and a hope that everyone learns to not just let go of hope they have-for anything. It could be anything. G'night, guys.

stunman007: dreams don't die
stunman007: they're always here and there
stunman007: we just have distractions along the way

Thank you so much, Rob-you don't even know how much that helped me.

Dayenu

2005-07-31T01:18:00.000-04:00

The world has turned and left me here
Just where I was before you appeared
And in your place, an empty space
Has filled the void behind my face

cell= (619) 849-9379

Blog This!, Bitches!

2005-07-11T05:08:00.000-04:00

HAHA I really like that entry title for my first post in what was apparently forever to the people who posted at least one of the 11 comments for my last little emo-fest I had in that last post, there. Wow...that sentence was not just Dickens-length, but more like Faulkner-I'm-Going-to-Run-On-This-Sentence-'Til-You-Can't-Remember-What-Happened-30-Pages-Ago-When-This-Sentence-First-Started Long. Yeah. That's right. So...it's about 2:11am right now...life is good. I'm starting to get reallt irritated w/ my job. I was originally scheduled to work fri, sat, and sun missing almost all of comic-con. I called around and go sat and fri covered and am now instead working wed. afternoon, but I get off in time comfortable to make it to preview night (evern...early *gasp* if I can get my lazy self off of the island.). I just, however, found out today after I had already called people that I'm not supposed to call any employees or "partners" as they like to call them (load of nothing, if you ask me-but hey-no one has yet about all of this starbucks franchise bs) outside of our district, which only includes downtown. So, they told me that it's on my head if the people that come in are either a.) new b.) suck, or c.) flake out and don't show at all. And then one of my managers was like, "If they don't show, we're calling you" Which could be majorly shitty if I'm at comic-con and they're like, "you're in trouble, get over here and work right now"....but then again, it wouldn't be the first time that a job ended b/c of comic-con, so eh-what can you do? It's worth it to meb/c it's comic-con and aside from the Ben Fold's concert in august, it's like my big trip/days away from hell aka starbucks. So if that goes down, oh well-there is life beyond serving coffee and near-minimum wages.
On the other hand, I'm super stoked about LOST! WOOOOO! Saturday's going to be the bestest thing in the whole wide world! LOST Cast (No Dom...Tears, but we shall meet someday-don't worry. I'll be laughing at all of you when we're standing at the altar and our song (appropriately "You All Everybody") is playing loud and clear.

:)

Then we've got Kevin Smith, Clips from "King Kong", and then......A TENACIOUS D! MINI-CONCERT! WOOOOOO!
And I and myself-can it get any better?
So, life is good. I hope the Evita thing works out for tuesday and I hope that tomorrow and every other day this week will be great w/o any flakey starbucks "partners" (ICK-I hate this "everyone's in on the multi-million dollar business" corporation sentimentality crap) and getting fired b/c of them. Hm. But, I think things will turn out just peachy. And I'll be at comic-con for like, everything but sunday-so I'm an extremely happy girl.

Ok-time for bed. OH! Here's a poll! Leave your response on the comments-
If I were to be stranded on the island with everyone on LOST, what would Sawyer's nickname for me be? (Heh-that's a fun one!) Lemme know what you think and I'll be seeing most of you tomorrow, and if not tomorrow, then sometime in the next week.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo4xo8xo15xo16xo23xo42xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Life.

2005-06-16T01:10:00.000-04:00

Hello, everyone. Sorry that my last couple of posts have been so vague-heh I've had a weird last week. (To put it lightly.) It's been up and down...exceedingly so. Not my feelings about this person, but really just how the whole thing makes me feel. And I realized something tonight: that whenever we would be in a moment, everything would be wonderful and everything he would say would be perfect. He told me that the whole thing was "like a dream" to him-which is understandable, seeing as it is not reality. And then I saw it: maybe whenever you do feel special about someone, maybe all it is is an escape from reality and the only reason that it works is because real life doesn't need to come crashing down as quickly as it normally does in this situation. Maybe that's just what relationships are.
I just don't see how everything can be so picturesque ("Of course you know when I want to kiss you because I always want to kiss you") and all of a sudden it becomes "...I wouldn't really be focusing on you." Ah, reality. It's harsh, but I suppose it is life. But I dunno...sometimes when things go back and forth like that it makes me think that anything he says in the beautiful moments are really just words that don't mean anything and keep you there. (I'm wondering if that's how love really does just become an escape.) Maybe not, though, because I know that I still feel the same way out of those instances as when I'm in them...at least I know that I'm not hallucinating my emotions. So maybe they're just not true for him. Or aren't true for anybody. I'm not sure. But then again, if I had all the answers, what the hell would be the direction of this post? (Ah ha! Ponder that if you will.) I dunno...it all makes me very sad but the happy moments seem worth all of it. Go figure, right?
I know what I'm writing and I know how it's coming off and that's correct b/c that's how I feel right now-I'm just hoping that these won't be my views of strong emotions permanently. I hope that I won't be so jaded and objective the next time that I feel something for someone. I really hope that I can feel this way about someone for a longer period of time than a week without all of it crashing down so suddenly.

2005-06-14T19:16:00.000-04:00

Coldplay-What If?
What if there was no line?
Nothing wrong, nothing right.
What if there was no time?
And no reason or rhyme.
What if you should decide, that you don't want me there by your side.
That you don't want me there in your life.
What if I got it wrong, and no poem or song
Could put right what I got wrong
Or make you feel I belong
What if you should decide that you don't want me there by your side
That you don't want me there in your life.
Oooh, that's right
Let's take a breath jump over the side
Oooh, that's right
How can you know it if you don't even try
Oooh, that's right
Every step that you take could be your biggest mistake
It could bend or it could break
But that's the risk that you take
What if you should decide
That you don't want me there in your life
That you don't want me there by your side.
Oooh, that's right
Let's take a breath jump over the side
Oooh, that's right
How can you know it when you don't even try
Oooh, that's right Ohhhhh
Oooh, that's right Let's take a breath jump over the side
Oooh, that's right
You know that darkness always turns into light

"We walked the earth, We talked and never spoke a word..."

2005-06-12T23:52:00.000-04:00

I have no idea what to think. I'm not sure what to say-I can't speak sometimes-if I could, what would I say to you? Thinking of how good it is to be sitting so close to you-to be standing near you-to see you looking at me. Thinking of how much everything can change. How the hell did all of this happen? Hah-who the hell would have ever thought you had felt that way about me? And who the hell would ever think that I felt the same way about you? (Well, minus that one friend who asked about me & you 2 months ago...whom I lied to-I couldn't let anyone know about that.) Calling you today about Aly was just an excuse to talk-I wanted so badly to know if you had read my note. And you did and you didn't say anything about it. And I saw your note on aim. And what can I say now? There's nothing I can say-I can't think. Everything is going by me so quickly and there's nothing I can do to stop it to just breathe and figure things out-but I guess there really isn't anything to figure out. I guess that if I had known earlier this torture would have been going on for potentially 2 years or so. I don't know-I have these few words on my lips that I want to say to you-I can't bring myself to say them. I promised that I would never be like everyone else when it came to you and I know that if I say them, everything will be a thousand times harder. But next week you won't even think of this. You'll forget all of it, and that's underastandable. But what about when you come back? I hope that everything you've felt will have disappeared for your sake because I don't feel that you should have to think about it right before all of this goes blank. We could be so goddamned good together and I just know it-but I know that that could never happen. I also know you'll never read this. But I think you already know exactly what's on my mind.

Ben Folds
Sentimental Guy
There's a moment in my mind
I scribbled and erased a thousand times
Like a letter never written or sent
These conversations with the dead
I used to be a sentimental guy
Now I'm haunted by the left unsaid
I never thought so much could change
Little things you said or did
Are part of me
Come out from time to time
Though probably no one I know now
Would notice
But I never thought so much could change
You drifted far away
Far away it seems
Time has stopped
The clock keeps going
People talking
And I'm watching
As flashes of their faces go black and white
And fade to yellow In a box in an attic
And I never thought so much would change
What a shame

Prommity-Prom

2005-06-04T23:21:00.000-04:00

Hey everyone! Before I get to the awesome prom coverage, I'd just like to share that I just ordered my Raiders of the Lost Arc staff of Ra pendant and it will be arriving in about 4 days or so. And yes, I'll be wearing it at graduation. :)
And right now I'm listening to this singer who is absolutely amazing. AMAZING. He sings the song "Walking in Memphis" which I think I've only played for like, two of you...most of you probably haven't heard the song. But if you're curious just download it or find me. But yeah. He's absolutely wonderful. He's like a cross between Don Henley, Bruce Springstein, and Peter Gabriel. I highly recommend him. So work today was really fun...my legs hurt so freakin' bad but Brendan, Dominique, and I were all laughing about it all day which was really funy and cool at the same time. The best part of work, I'd have to say, was when I was like, "When am I eligible to receive tips?" (The sad part is that that was my exact phrasing.) - you don't get tips until like, your tenth day of work or something. So they're like, "Let me check" and give me my tip envelope and inside of i there's $63 dollars that had accumuated in the last 3 weeks or so. Which made me extremely happy.
So prom=amazing. There isn't too much more to say about it. The limo ride was kinda crazy, Denny's was fun, the dances were great (except that "You Look Wonderful Tonight" literally makes me cry now), the talks were fun, and I can't wait to see the pictures. Favorite moments included when Collin and I were dancing and I was like, "Okay. Now think of this. now think of how I played your mother." and when the dj played "Girls just wanna have fun" and the song is playing and we're all singing and the chorus hits and Charles yells something so it went (quite audibly) "Girls, just wanna have fu-un, oh, girls just wanna have fun....AND ME!!!!".
So yes, lots of fun. I've gotta get some sleep to be at work tomorrow at 8, so come visit me.
Love you all!

for rob, b/c I'm a pansy.

2005-05-31T01:39:00.000-04:00

I hope you're happy, b/c I don't feel like updating, rob. I feel like sleeping. I have an oral speech spanish IV final tomorrow at 7:30am. Blah blah blah, complain complain. :)

Funny convo pieces before I talk about my wasted yet enjoyed day:

stunman007: so you're in charge of checking my truck's tires each morning when you guys are at ssp
wildhoney40: why am I in charge of that?!
stunman007: because i said so
stunman007: i manage by delegation
wildhoney40: HAHA oh ok.
stunman007: and i delegate that responsibility to you
wildhoney40: lol you just want to see me in the dirt looking at your truck
stunman007: hahaha

wildhoney40: haha I love ebay
stunman007: http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&category=3061&item=5395234053&rd=1&ssPageName=WDVW
stunman007: what about this?
wildhoney40: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA
stunman007:
hahastunman007: i don't think your mother would approve
wildhoney40: lol
wildhoney40: no I don't think so

FiftySix Bagels: if you wear that
FiftySix Bagels: I think my world will end because anything and everything that I once thought true would be completely and utterly wrong

stunman007: oh man,
stunman007: typing in "skimply lingerie" leads to a bad, bad world of ebay
wildhoney40: HAHA

stunman007: and can you hook me up with hot chocolate from starbucks?
stunman007: oh, can i use your employee id to get discounts?
stunman007: you want my student id number?
stunman007: for contengency
wildhoney40: uh, I'm god for now
wildhoney40: :-)
stunman007: haha
wildhoney40: good*
stunman007: riiiihgt
wildhoney40: that's a fun typo.
stunman007: freudian slip?stunman007: yeah you're god for now?
wildhoney40: lol basically

nadocollin: ok homie.
wildhoney40: ok, mofo
wildhoney40: wanna hear something fun?
nadocollin: sure.
wildhoney40: the abbreviation for a mocha frappucino on a cup in the "drink" box is "MF" which always makes me think of Mo Fo so it's super easy to remember and super fun to write
nadocollin: nice.
nadocollin: are you working tomorrow morning?
wildhoney40: nope
wildhoney40: no work
nadocollin: oh. lame.
wildhoney40: lolol
wildhoney40: this morning michelle, aly, tanaka, nicole and her mom, and nicole's hot gay jewish octor neighbor all came in
wildhoney40: yes, octor.
wildhoney40: not to be confused w/ a physician, of course.
nadocollin: oh. i thought octopus.
wildhoney40: that's confusion has cost many their lives
wildhoney40: try not to confuse them again
nadocollin: octopus and doctor?
nadocollin: I'll try
wildhoney40: it could mean death for you next time
wildhoney40: yeah.
wildhoney40: you could go to a sushi bar and order octopus and instead order doctor
wildhoney40: the authorities would track you down for cannicalism
nadocollin: haha
wildhoney40: and put you on death row
wildhoney40: yes, cannicalism.
nadocollin: that made me think kaleidoscope.
wildhoney40: it's when mechanics feed odd one another's flesh
wildhoney40: odd, yes, not off
wildhoney40: I'm getting really tired

...I love my typos. Anywho, today was interesting. We (Jeremy, Collin, Jon, Phil, Steve, & I) had a cool video filming and then an adventure in the new school building that's still under contruction. I did not study for my spanish final, I did not do the precalc review packet, I did not re-memorize my monologue, I did not build the cardboard boat for physics, I did not cut my hair. Quite the un-productive day in lieu of my schedule. Lots of fun, now time for bed.
G'night, everyone!
P.S. Prom=FRIDAY!!!!!

Happy and Exhausted.

2005-05-20T20:50:00.000-04:00

Hey everyone! Sorry that I like, update on a weekly basis. Ick. So lots of great stuff in my world-if the tone of this entry for some reason doesn't seem as happy as it should, it's only b/c I'm exhausted (I went through all of yesterday being totally fine w/ only three hours of sleep-Star Wars to school to CoSA to rehearsal to performing in the REP show). Now I guess it's finally just catching up w/ me. But yeah-I'm about to do the REP show in an hour-if you've got the chance, do come and see it. It's pretty much awesome. :)
So something totally awesome and unexpected happened yesterday (which I'm sure that most of you already know about, but hey-why not just put it into writing 'cus it's just that amazin'?) I'm sitting in AP Span yesterday morning and this girl comes in and hands a couple of papers to Mr. Bayless and leaves and he passes one to me and I'm like, "Huh?" b/c I never get any of the passes out of class or like, cool sheets of paper that all the "in" kids get :) So then I'm opening it and I notice that Shelby Greggory is like, watching me the whole time and I'm thinkin', "Okay, this is kind of weird" and I read and it's basically like, "Congratulations! You're on the 2005 Prom Court-Please don't worry about paying for your ticket should you decide to participate. Thank you and congratualtions again!" And I'm like, doing my surprised laugh like "whoa-I can't believe this" and Shelby (who is on the Junior class ASB committee thingy and arranged the nominations) was like, "I've known for a week about this-are you excited?!" And I was like, "Uhhhhh yeah!!!" So yeah. I'm just thinking "wow" and it's so cool to be one of the six girls chosen out of the entire senior class. The gals for prom court this year are: Brittany McGill, Erica Baumgartner, Christine Seifert, Jessica Knapp, and someone else besides myself (and I feel really bad b/c I can't remember who she is). So it's pretty much awesome. The boys are as follows: Brad Munns, David West, Antonio McConniville, Alex Woolf, Drew Radcliffe, and another guy (and I feel really bad about not remembering him, either.) But yeah-so that's pretty darn cool. In fact, I'm still totally psyched about it like, 42 hours later. So ye-uh. I'm like, totally not even really in the running for this but it's like awesome to honored like this. So hey! I'll see most of you there and catch you on the flip side.

Oh P.S. I got a tetnis booster today and my arm kinda hurts right now. So please don't hit me in my left arm because that just hurts like a mofo. Pretty much.
Oh and P.P.S. I got an awesome wound on my left hand in a lightsaber duel yesterday. It's pretty cool, and I figure I basically bleed jedi blood by now. So that pretty much makes me a pro jedi. Chill on that thought. :)

...Slaaaaaaaaave for you

2005-05-09T17:00:00.000-04:00

HAHAHAHA I honestly don't know what that entry title has to do with this entry but whatev, yo. Life is good. Haha congrats to Imp on the Bagelwood victory! WOO! Less than 5 weeks left of school for seniors (and counting). Huzah! Everything is good...haha super stressed about shows, though. I have (literally) 7 performances in the next three weeks (and no, kids, that's not including the home tour.)
Something really weird happened on saturday that kind of caught me off-guard. Maybe it was a guilty concsience (although I don't exactly have one on the particular subject), maybe it was just a need for odds and ends to be reconciled. I dunno. But it any case, I had a dream on friday night that I was hanging out w/ Andy Stewart again. For those of you who were here and knew me in 10th grade, then you know all of the wonderful drama and the *really fun* falling out that our friendship had for a few major reasons. Haha which I will not go into. But yeah-basically we hadn't talked in two years. At the end of my sophomore year when we even saw each other in the hall we would act like we didn't even acknowledge the other. And it continued like that all at CHS last year until he graduated. So you can imagine the horrible notes (haha sometimes literally) that we ended on. But anyway-my dream was just so incredibly out-of-the-blue and then all during saturday I kept feeling slightly emo and wanting to get in touch with him (which is odd-there really was never a random time when I wanted to do this within the last two years). So I emailed him. (I wasn't even sure if his old email address worked or if he'd even talk to me and, if he did, whether or not he'd cuss me out or just tell me that I have no right to talk to him.) But, he emailed back the next day and was like, "Hey Stephie, long time no hear from!" So all's good and we keep emailing back and forth and he's coming to graduation. For some reason I was really happy when he replied-I'm not sure why. I mean, it wasn't like it was really an all one-sided fight or anything and when it did happen I was like, "Okay, well it's not like I really want to keep in contact with this group of friends anyways". Hah-that sounds horrible but there's a whole backstory to it. So...yeah. But in any case it was just extremely random and I felt weird all saturday until I finally decided to email him. That's about all. That was my saturday (plus shopping.) Then yesterday was a really lazy day and I went through a bunch of my stuff to get rid of in a garage sale...THEN I WENT TO TODAI w/ DONNIE! (uhm...I still don't know what to get him for his birthday and I need to get it by saturday night.) But yeah-that was way awesome and yeah.
So boo yah, all's good. Life=fun, and I'm about to run off to advanced tap (ye-uh). And thank you for all the wonderful comments, boys. Lol since only boys comment on my blog. Oh well.
P.S.! IMP & James! Movie-tastic/pie night soon!
*ciao*

no time to update

2005-05-07T13:40:00.000-04:00

Shoppin in solana beach today..yup yup. All I can say before I run out the door is:

Aly Boo, you're amazing, thanks for the comments, and I look forward to many more.
P.S. Remember, kids: It was not Jesus who went down the Nile. (Love ya, Boo ;) )

...tiny cities made of ashes.

Lalalalala SENIORITIS!!!!!!!

2005-05-04T11:02:00.000-04:00

Hey hey.
Apparently in AP Span Lang I have "dropped the ball" in the last 4 weeks. I've always been drowning in Pre Calc H. I have not done a homework assignment for Physics in forever.

But I feel I will kick ass on my AP Lit exam tomorrow. Boo ya. ;)

I really wanna change the background on this blog. Yuck. I should do that. Super excited for Prom, the upcoming birthday parties, graduation, just basically getting through to this weekend to relax. But I love the banner that cam made for me on bagelwood. This is such a pointless entry. I'm just so tired and I don't wanna do my math homework right now. Yuck. I'm listening to Tears for Fears right now. Ok...going to go and take "a really cool picture" w/ Lauren outside now. I have no idea what's going on. Hahaha. Ciao.

...I am a grocery bag.

huh?

2005-04-18T23:46:00.000-04:00

Imp's curse? I'm so lost, Imp. Okay, okay, James. Evil sacrafice "RAWR"-ing monsters should be kept at bay, so here I am, updating. Thank you for offering to help me clean my room, by the way...lol it was very nice of you-my room still isn't clean, but I'll get to it eventually (someday). So I'm writing this right before getting to my long-procrastinated 2,000-word Econ research project is due (which, as per usual, I have not even started. Yet.) I'm also sitting here listening to "The Last Five Years"...and getting very excited about seeing it at UCSD at the end of May (w00t....."Staring chatatonic out the window, barely even breathing all the while, and then he smiles, his eyes light up and deep within the ground, without a sound, the moment comes to light and I'm a part of that, I'm a part of that, I'm a part of that..." AH I LOVE THIS SHOW). So basically, I', very freaking excited about ("Yes he's insane, but look what he can do, and I'm a part of that, I'm a part of that, I'm a part of that, and it's true...") UCSD in general. LOL Collin just told me after reharsal today that last night he had a dream that he went to UCSD with me and we put on a 4-person production of "Songs for a New World" and it was "the two of us, and two people we've never seen before in our lives"...which made me laugh. I think Collin should go w/ me! I mean, the top 3 UCs for theatre are UCLA, UCI, and UCSD...(UCLA being IMPOSSIBLE TO GET INTO FOR BOTH STRAIGHT ACTING AND MUSICAL THEATRE) and then today Collin was like, "I really don't want to go to UC Irvine so I was like, "HAH! You'll follow me once again!" I'll have to admit, it would be really fun to get to do more productions w/ one of my best friends for like, years to come. (He'd probably be a Revelle kid...YESSSS..."Revell Does It Best Because It Is Required" HAHAHA.) WOO....Yeah...no one reading this entry is a.) either going to care or b.) doesn't really know what the hell I'm talking about...."Nah Nah Nah Nah Nah Nah Nah Nah, Schmuel, you'll get to be happy..." So now this entry is pretty much deemed pointless, and another excuse for procrastination. Ok...I've gotta get to that paper...
*CIAO*

..."...CUS I SAY Nah Nah Nah Nah Nah Nah NahNah, Cathy, you get to be happy, Nah Nah Nah Nah Nah IIIII Give you unlimited time, Nah Nah Nah Nah Nah Nah Stop Temping! and go and be happy, here's a headshot guy and a new Backstage where you're right for something on every page take, a breath, take a step, take a chaaaance, take your time...have I mentioned today, how lucky I am, to be in love with you?"

la dee da dee da

2005-04-04T14:48:00.000-04:00

Hey everyone!
So, even more confused about the college situation. Because I did not get into Berkeley (And neither did Antonio...wtf, mate??) I'm SUPER confused. I'm pretty much ruling out Irvine, so then it's really down to UCSD and UC Davis. duiltfgweihfioew rylihwfelhwer;ohew
CONFUSED. UCSD is really nice, though...I've been touring the campus for the last like, 2 days and it's pretty killer...their theatre dept. kills that of UCD, however I'd like a change of place. I'll probably just end up at UCSD (which isn't bad, but for me it's *eh*). Oh well. I just need to make up my mind in the next few weeks b/c I need to start getting housing applications in.
On a social level, my head is exploding. This is the first day back from break and all of my classes feel SOOOOOO looooong. (I know it isn't really social, but...) This weekend's gonna be crazy-busy. Seussical opens this weekend and I'm supposed to go see that, then UCSD's putting on Hair this weekend, supposed to see that, THEN James and I were gonna go to a baseball game on friday but I have rehearsal so that'll be super tight time-wise, and THEN I'm supposed to tour UCI which I don't really want to do. Oh well....

"...Life is pain, Princess. Anyone who tells you differently is selling something."
-The Princess Bride

And yes, James, restaurant hopping sounds very fun but it'll have to wait until Songs for a New World closes b/c I can't get them pulled until after the show/all that singing is done. But we'll go!
*...AFFIRMATIVE...* LOL ;)

2005-03-31T21:45:00.000-05:00

Dear Stephanie,
We have considered your application for admission to the Berkeley campus of the University of California. After careful review, we are sorry that we are unable to offer you admission for the fall semester 2005.

Oh well :\

ICK!!!!!!

2005-03-22T13:25:00.000-05:00

So yesterday was fun....here I am, sitting in the dentist's chair, all done w/ my teeth cleaning, and here's what he says at the very end of my appointment while he looks at my x-rays...ready? Here we go,

Him: "No cavities...your teeth look healthy, but your wisdom teeth are grown in about half-way. We're going to have to take those out soon. If you get 'em taken out on a thursday or friday you'll be fully recovered to be back in school on a monday."
Me: "Uh...I have rehearsal every day until 6:30...we'll probably have to do them over summer vacation...is that okay?"
Him: "Yeah, that's fine...I mean, we could do them over spring break but that wouldn't give you too much notice."
My Mom: "Well, we should probably get those taken care of as soon as possible. What about next thursday over spring break?"
Him: "If that's okay with Stephanie. Is that okay with you?"
Me (slightly shocked): "Huh? Uhmm...I guess so..."

And that's how it all went down...now the last four days of my break will be spent in misery...not to mention my dad was telling me about how you ABSOLUTELY CANNOT get food in the wounds? Oh yeah-my mom was telling me about how when she got them removed she kept sucking on the open wounds (thinking she was cleaning it), but then the doctor told her that that causes dry pockets in your gums and it can ruin the bone mass in ones mouth....

No fun. However UCSD (no gov. money included) is willing to give me over $7,000 if I go there next year.
Gives me something to think about...

WOOOOOOO!!!!

2005-03-19T18:09:00.000-05:00

*eh hem*...

Dear Stephanie,

On behalf of the faculty, staff and students of the University of California, San Diego, I congratulate you on your admission to Revelle College as a major in Theatre! UCSD is one of the nation's most outstanding universities, and we look forward to welcoming you to our campus

Thank you, thank you. I do my best ;)

Hmmmm...

2005-03-18T14:33:00.000-05:00

Welcome to the UCSD admissions information Web site for Fall 2005 undergraduate applicants. We have received your admissions application. Applications are being reviewed at this time. Freshman admission decisions will be made between mid- March and March 31, 2005. We encourage you to check this site for updated status information regarding your application.

Thank you for using myBerkeleyApp. Your application has been received and is In ReviewDecisions will be available the evening of Thursday, March 31, 2005.

..............I am SO incredibly impatient..................

More ACCEPTANCE!!!!

2005-03-15T10:31:00.000-05:00

Hey everyone! I've now officially been admitted to UC Davis! Whoooo! Now I'm still waiting for UCSD and UCB (caugh *elitists* cough).
Okay...on to Huntington!
Good bye, everyone! It's on to a three hour-each way bus ride for me next to my buddy Lauren!!!
Love you all,
~Me
Oh-andjust b/c I haven't put up some lyrics in a while...here's some awesome ones. I love this song.

Well, the song's lyrics are depressing (but it's an up-tempo song...so I'll put up the very end of the song. Enjoy!)

Elliott Smith - Happiness Lyrics

What I used to be will pass away
And then you'll see
That all I want now is happiness
For you and me
What I used to be will pass away
And then you'll see
That all I want now is happiness
For you and me
What I used to be will pass away
And then you'll see
That all I want now is happiness
For you and me
All I want now is happiness
For you and me

Heeeeeyyyyaaaahhhhh...Heeeyaaahhh clap clap clap

2005-03-14T16:14:00.000-05:00

Hello hello, kiddo kiddo!
Tomorrow I am going to Huntington Library...whoo! boo yah...woo! Ye-uh. I WISH I would just HEAR from these LAST THREE FREAKIN' UCS!!!!!!! ASwe;ougwer4 bgtho398 74t834 c!!!
Yes. frustration=gone. Okay. Breathe in. Huntington will be nice and relaxing and there will be lots of flowers and the zen garden and oh jeez luise it'll be nice to not go to school tomorrow. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH oh JEEZ I'm screwed. AH (Sorry-I keep thinking that I'm over stressing about college stuff, but then Tony and mallory start talking about it again! AHHHH!!!) Anywho...3 down, 3 to go...Davis and UCSD should be up any day now....AYDhwioSUew!!! I'm totally not getting into Berkeley b/c Tony applied at the last minute and we have the EXACT same awards and qualifications, except that he has a higher gpa...which means, I'm gonna be sad when he gets in and I don't. SAD FACE. Ok. For everyone who hasn't found out yet, I sympathize. For everyone who has yet to go through this process, I sympathize. For anyone (namely STEVE who got into every place he applied...just kidding, steve-you have every right to be freaking perfect in every way.) Sorry-we're all a little bitter bc someone w/ a 3.2 gpa got into UCLA todayand she's really mean to everyone. The main thing that bothers me is that she's SO freakin' mean. Oh well....weird things happen sometimes.
Okay...tiome for Kirk's, I love you all, and I'll see most of you soon...or talk to you soon...or IM...lol oh btw if my aim has just shut down and I can't say good-bye sometimes, it isn't me (I swear!!!) Lol-the computer's kinda crazy sometimes.
Ciao belles.

2005-03-11T18:57:00.000-05:00

Hey everyone...some cool news, so eh news. First found out I didn't get into UCLA, then check another web site and found out I got into UC Irvine. I'm super chill 'cus I applied to 5 UCs and I never actually had a first choice of any school I applied to. I guess it makes it easier for me, but I never got that "This is the perfect school for me" feeling. But I'm still happy. Aly is going to check, Cam isn't going to check until he gets a mail thing, C.J. and Tony didn't get in which makes me like, "HEY!!!!! ? You seriously need to re-evaluate your standards, biatches, 'cus my friends are super duper friggin' awesome WHAT WHAT!" That's how that makes me feel. So anywho, I'm feelin' pretty awesome. yeah, that's right. And I can't remember my UC Davis user name so I can't sign in to view my application status...how sad. :(
Oh well. Anywho, signin' off.
Love you all, see you soon!

A Pretty Good Monday

2005-03-07T16:37:00.000-05:00

Hey everyone! Today's been pretty good! Hectic, but good. I'm in Oxford right now, then vocal, then I go to tap, then jazz. Very exciting. THEN I go to "Songs" rehearsal till seven!! WOO!!! B.T.W. I'm in love with Lauren's Death Cab for Cutie shirt that she's wearing right now...freakin' awesome. SWEEEEEET. ew dyfg ekgkwuy ...that was Lauren typin' all crazy-like. Last night's Shakespeare competition was ... interesting. Neither Tony or I were called up in the final five, but, unlike T-Dizzle, I didn't take it personally (mainly b/c there were two especially AMAZING guys that were like, knock-your-socks-off performers that didn't get called for it, either.) I was, however, extremely happy to see the amazing boy wonder John Meza there...oh dear...wonderful. And I am now officially his link to finding out all that's going on in CoSA...flippin' sweet. D & L went swimminglyand I must admit that although I'm sad that that show is done, I am extremely happy to have another show to look forward to. SONGS IS GONNA BE FREAKIN' AWESOME!!!
Life is good. Busy, but good. Okay...I now have an econ book to read, And a satire to write.
Love,
~ME

P.S. Tony quotes me as saying, "Different colors??? Changin' it up on yo ass."

COLLEGE NEWS!!!!

2005-03-03T18:23:00.000-05:00

Hey everyone...seeing as my xanga is blocked from the school and I can't get to it, I will be updating onto this weblog that I like NEVER write in...so, this is my temporary haven of journal updates.
The bestest thing ever is that last night I found out I got into SDSU!!!!!! Yeah, I know it's State, but at the same time-hey-I got in somewhere! It was really quite nice to know that I'm at least going to State. YEAH UH HUH THAT'S RIGHT!!! But in any case, I'll keep this site updated for the college info that will be coming my ay in the next month.
James, I am very sorry that you deleted your blog. Please make another one. Please? Anyways, David and freakin' AWESOME Lisa opens tonight!!!!!!! Everyone PLEASE go see it...we have 4 performances, so there really aren't too many excuses to miss it ;)
Life is good...call time is in about 2 hours...I guess I should be doing homework (psh...SO over rated.) Anywho, I'll leave you all now with this wonderful quote...Oh DEAR GOD. (Number IV due out next year boo freakin' YAH)

Indiana Jones: It's disgraceful, you're old enough to be her... her grandfather.
Professor Henry Jones: Well, I'm as human as the next man.
Indiana Jones: Dad, I *was* the next man.
Professor Henry Jones: Oh... ships that pass in the night.

HAHAHAHAHA...love it. Okay, updates later. Bye, everyone!

Just for Collin.

2004-08-21T23:50:00.000-04:00

Considering I NEVER update this, why do you still read it? Lol-no, I like my xanga just the way it is, thank you. Haha I have a friend who has three different web journals and just cuts and pastes the same entries every day...but I'm too lazy for even that, so I only use one. Anywho, I guess I'll just say that I'm here in Santa Monica. Tomorrow is church and hopefully driving w/ Rob. *sssshhhhhhhhh* it's a secret. Anywho, just to make things interesting I'll do updates in the true stephanie fashion and put up some lyrics. Enjoy!

Darkness Lyrics
Get Your Hands Off My Woman Lyrics
You are drunk and surlyIn Latino lover modeWe all know what's on your agendaWe've broken the codeI've got no right to lay claim to her frameShe's not my possessionYou c**t!!!Get your hands off my woman motherfuckerGet your hands off my woman motherfuckerOctoped, you've got six hands too manyAnd you can't keep them to yourselfYou're too fat and too old to marrySo they left you on the shelfI've got no right to lay claim to her frameBut you soiled my obsessionYou c**t!!Get your hands off my woman motherfuckerGet your hands off my woman motherfuckerGet your hands off my woman motherfuckerGet your hands off my woman motherfuckerOw!Get your hands off my woman motherfuckerGet your hands off my woman motherfuck....ERRRRR!!!!!!!

Bored in Summer.

2004-06-22T13:53:00.000-04:00

Hey everyone! Yes, Kat, that's right, you're no longer a freshman or a sophomore. Welcome to being a upperclassman. And guess who gets to walk in the auditorium in all black to ACDC on the first day of school? Oh yes, that would be me! Lol. Scary, though. So...I'm proud of you, Jon, for knowing the context of Benny and the Jets. Congrats. I wasn't aware that you listened to Sir Elton. (AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH Chris Isaak is coming in August but tickets are $90 and I HAVE to go and see him, but that takes away from my beautiful dream guitar. Damnit.) AND I bought that necklace. Huge splurge. For $30 more I could have ordered my ticket. Why don't I ever keep these things in mind when I'm shopping?! Ok. This entry is hereby deemed Pointless. Talk to you soon!

Almost there...

2004-06-16T19:56:00.000-04:00

Hey ya'll. What's up, yous guys? well, just a random post wishing all you guys good luck on the last day of school tomorrow and any finals that you have. (Spanish III can kiss my ass. I have to study about 175 vocab words tonight. No joke.)Anywho, hopefully all you guys are going to graduation tomorrow....wow....Tony and I were talking today about how scary it is that in one year from tomorrow we'll be graduating. It's creepy. By 12:15 tomorrow I will officially be a senior. Holy crap. Scarzary (Yeah the ebonics didn't really work on that one.) Oh well. Just wishing ya'll good luck. I love you all, and hope you do well. Have fun as freshmen/sophomores (Kat. ahem.) Hehe...and now to clean my room...
Oh yeah. Check this out.
http://www.ruben.fm/e6.html

first post....

2004-06-14T15:37:00.000-04:00

I hope you're all happy. I only did this to comment on YOUR sites. Now I have THREE online journals. What the crap? Lol. Enjoy.